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  #1  
Old 01-18-2006
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Another song needs your critique please!!

I wrote this song for my mother on the first Mothers' Day after her death. 11 years later, I finally put it to "tape".

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

Cheers,

Chris

Happy Mothers' Day (for Sharron)
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Last edited by bigmahon; 01-18-2006 at 16:22..
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Old 01-18-2006
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Chris,
I REALLY like the chorus - esp the vocals.
The guitar in the verse seems a little aggressive - maybe too up in the mix.
It takes a while for somethings to get from the heart to tape.
Cheers
rayC
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Old 01-18-2006
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Thanks for listening rayc, and thanks for the comment! I'll see what I can do about the mix during the verse.
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Old 01-19-2006
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Any other thoughts or critiques of this mix folks? I am not very experienced, and I really want to get this one right.
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Old 01-19-2006
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bigmahon

Oh Master of Cool Vocal FXs (I really liked Sleep!): I think this song might sound better with some kind of low-fi FX on the verse vox then leaving them natural for the chorus. It's a very personal song. The verse lyrics are kind-of personal thoughts, which could sound good "distanced" from the listener by such as effect. On the other hand the chorus is the message that you want to shout out.

It's just an idea. I wrote and recorded a "personal" song a while ago that never really worked and am now redoing it with this sort of treatment for the same reasons.

But, I'm just a beginner too, so maybe this is a silly or well overused idea.

Have fun anyway
aspiring
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Old 01-19-2006
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aspiring, thanks.

Ironically, I originally did what you described with the verse vocals, but my wife didn't like it and convinced me to change it! See what I get for listening to her!

I agree that something needs to be done, and I'm convinced that the verse is the trouble spot. Back to the drawing board!
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Old 01-19-2006
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I like this song. Upbeat and uplifting!!

More of a celebration of the love they gave, instead of expressing the pain of loosing them.

I can never seem to reflect that in my songs. Refreshing to hear this!!

It sounds good to my ears.
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Old 01-19-2006
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I really like the song. good groove, melody.

I agree that the guitars in the chorus are a little hot but that's easily remedied.

I also feel like the effect on the vocal seems out of place to me. The rhythm beds are very tight, clean, and close with very little effect, and the vocal has this room ambience that in my opinion doesn't blend at all with the overall vibe of the song. I might suggest cutting that way back or even out altogether. Having just a very, very subtle reverb effect or even just a smidge of short delay (barely audible) just to give a *little* sense of space.

But it sounds to me like you're very close....

Cool
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Old 01-20-2006
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aframe, thanks for listening and for the useful suggestions. Hopefully I'll get this fixed soon!
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