R&B song...Please Listen, I need Your Guys Input

[tbiddy38]

I recently recorded this song in my home studio, My best friends and I run and operate the studio. We use Protools LE on a G5 Imac. I mixed the song myself, and tried to master the best way I can. I've been putting together as many songs as possible, and writing as much as I can for the last 3 months. This is an R&B song, and I'm singing, I'm using a Sade Sample, for the Piano chords, but the rest of the track, (bassline and all), is us. The track was produced by Jermaine Bell, and I wrote the song. We have other original tracks that we're writing and recording, but this is the first finished one. Tell me what you think about the song and the mix, tell me what you would have done differently, and be honest, enjoy. Paste this link: (I think I put up the wrong one earlier, here it is now)

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page...?bandID=461474

[Robert D]

Personally, I think it deserves to go in the MP3 clinic.

-RD

[tbiddy38]

What's wrong?

[doncol07]

Hey,

I listened through it twice and these are the things that stood out to me:

It's actually starting to grown on me a little, easy to remember the melody on the chorus. I liked the arrangement...it was uncluttered and didn't have too much stuff that didn't need to be there. I like the drum and percussion arrangment. I like the break in the middle and the ad lib on the vocal on the end was pretty good. I though sound overall was pretty good.

I thought the topic of the song was pretty good, but some of the lyrcis were a bit predictable and cliched. Like average Joe, stand the test the time, love you more...adore...etc. I'd try to come up with something a little more original on those parts at least....that can be tricky. I'm working on the same thing with my music. The melody is a little bit repetitive (my songs too) on the verse, and parts of it didn't seem really solid.

I didn't care for the very first pitch shifted voice at the very beginning. The normal voice was OK, but I thought that section was just a little bit long, and unfortunately, that section of the song is a little cliched to me musically. I'd try to think of something more unique for that section especially. I like the approach of doubling an octave up on the chorus, but it was out of tune a bit, and the harmony, 4th or 5th interval didn't feel right to me. Also, the vocals seems a little nasally to me overall. The chorus could be improved a good bit to me and I thought the song ended too abruptly. I think a fade out would be better.

Donny

[CyanJaguar]

its honestly pretty bad. I'm sorry. dont mean to be mean.

the voice is small. the boosted high-mids/high end dont help at all .the distract.

the kick is weak. yes, it is louder than it should be but it is a quite bad sounding kick.

The song itself is uninspired. Yes, it is not a bad song, but it is nothing above average.

the intro is too long as well.

the pitch shifted vocal is cheesy

here is what I would do:


if you are mixing on headphones, you cant hear whats really going on
dont do anything because everybody is doing it ie adding high end to the vox
if you are mixing on small speakers, add a sub so you can hear the low end. The kick overpowers everything and I can hardly hear the bass synth

pan a little

and I wish you the best

[djclueveli]

i really like you're rnb song that you put on soundclick. it was mixed very well. what tool did you use to center the main vocals like that or what plugin did you use. or is there a certain eq trick that can center vocals in the middle like that. give me some feedback please. thanks