New Song Please Critique!!!!

[Valiance7]

This song was done almost completely in Ableton Live. I love that software although you wouldn't think this style of music would work well with it.

Drums/drum like sounds are done in reason and looped into live. Guitar is a new Fender Strat played through a Soldano amp into a sm57 into a 1820m. Vox are AT4033 into 1820m. Bass is an old ibanez bass played direct into 1820m.

If it's not too much to ask please give me critical feedback on:

The sound: the mix, individual sounds, ect.

The song: catchiness, contemporariness (is that a word?), lyrics, tempo or anything else you think!!!!

Thanks in advance. Oopss almost forgot the link.

The song is called You're Wrong (Lolli Part 2)

http://www.lightningmp3.com/live/file.php?fid=1573

Brett

[Valiance7]

Darn...I get so excited when I post stuff on here I'm continually checking.

I know it pretty much sucks but I'd appreciate it if you would tell me exactly where and how it sucks..............even if you say, "well the entire thing sucks...." at least then I'd know.

...time to go to bed.

[Sabu]

I like the song...it's catchy and sounds good. I'm really impressed that it has that "pocket" at slower tempo. It might be easy for you but I can't do it. I would personally put the vocals a bit higher, take out the keyboard (or record a different part; it just sounds "wrong" to me) and put the outro guitar harmony a bit lower in the mix - it seems to clash with the main guitar a little. But otherwise the song is really quite good. Do you have a website with more stuff?

Which version of Ableton Live do u use?

[STAT1STICK]

Listening now... Nice boomy kick. Vocals need to be a bit higher. Replace that keyboard with a mellow acoustic guitar with some brushed style picking. I think that would really accentuate the electric. The keyboard is terrible. Also, bring up your bass guitar a bit. You might also want to bring your harmony vocals in a bit tighter and not have them so panned off to the side. They kind of sound left out of the mix if you know what I mean. You might want to even turn them down just a tad. I also think that there should be some kind of ambient sound in the background... It just sounds too plain and thin in some areas. Other than those issues... Great song! Nice work.

[Valiance7]

Thanks for the feedback guys!!! Please keep it coming! I'l post more of my stuff soon.

Sabu- I'm glad you like the song. That is really what I'm most concerned about as I figure the audio recording can always be improved.
I know the keyboard part is pretty "out of place" but for some reason I thought it was cool as I was messing around in the basement. I totally will lower the outro guitar part. As for my vocals I'm never really happy with them but I'll definitely go back and listen to see if they're high enough.

STAT1STICK- The kick is a mixture of 2 different kick sounds. One very "acoustic" and one very "electric" like a 909 kick or something. I've actually gone back and brought up the bass a little bit already. I'll also take your other advice on the backing vox and the backing pad sound. Thanks for the tips!!!

More advice please!!! Rip it apart!!!

Brett

[Valiance7]

Oh yeah, Sabu...I use the newest version of live 5.01 or something.

I got it at Guitar Center for $280. $1 dollar over cost. Pretty good deal.

[silentman]

Did you mean for the guitar to have that swingy feel? I think it sounds great, but when the tamborine comes in with the straight 16ths it kinda clashes rythmically in some places. Take this comment with a grain of salt. If that was the sound your were going for, that's cool.

-Jamie

Out!

[JHOOKS]

I like the song overall, about the keyboard it does suck, but not totally, around 1:24 to 1:26ish it starts having a reverb efx to it( which i like) if you can start the reverb when the actually keyboard part come in and push it back more in the mix with the reverb, it might sound cool and less cheesy.

i think if you make that part more of an efx and less melodic it will feel better.

[Valiance7]

Silentman- I hear what you're saying on the 16th. It definitely could have more of a swing feel to it. On the other hand by being more straight it kind've signals that this is a different part of the song (chorus) then the verses which have a complete swing feel. I'll experiment but a great suggestion.

JHOOKS- Nobody is digging the keyboard sound which I admit was cheesy but for some reason still liked. The part that you like better uses a piano+ahh sound found in my emulator x. The "dooo"s are from Live. I just change the mix in the later part that you like more towards the emulator x. I'll expiriment with bring it up sooner and putting them all in the background a little more.

thanks for the tips guys!!!!

[JHOOKS]

go for it dude!!!! love x peace x passion= music

[semidiablan]

Man I love that keyboard. In my opinion, the best part. La la la do do. Seriously.

[Valiance7]

Yeah I actually like the synths too. (If you're being serious that is).

I might change the mix a bit but I don't think I can lose the synths...they're part of the song now.

[packratlouie]

The starting guitar should be doubled and delayed between each of the channels. Fatten that sound up man. Get it out of the center in the mix.

Vocals up a little bit

Progressively add some background electric guitar diddys, something very ambient. There's a lot of dead space that you need to fill up with something.

That keyboard isn't in the right key. Absolutely brutal so remove it asap.

Pretty cool song though man, I enjoyed it.

[semidiablan]

Originally Posted by Valiance7

Yeah I actually like the synths too. (If you're being serious that is).

I might change the mix a bit but I don't think I can lose the synths...they're part of the song now.

I am serious. It is hard to tell, but I'm not being sarcastic. They are great, good job.

I don't want to be mean, but that keyboard part is not in the wrong key. If people aren't liking it, I think it is a matter of taste, not musicianship. It flows quite nicely, and it totally changes the feel of the song. If it weren't for the keyboard I wouldv'e just passed the song off as being just another brick in the wall.

[Sabu]

Originally Posted by semidiablan

I am serious. It is hard to tell, but I'm not being sarcastic. They are great, good job.

I don't want to be mean, but that keyboard part is not in the wrong key. If people aren't liking it, I think it is a matter of taste, not musicianship. It flows quite nicely, and it totally changes the feel of the song. If it weren't for the keyboard I wouldv'e just passed the song off as being just another brick in the wall.

I don't claim to know much musical theory, but I'll say this...if that keyboard part is NOT in the wrong key, it certainly SOUNDS like it is...which is about the same as being in the wrong key, IMO.

Anyway, I'm of the opposite opinion...I think the sound is catchy and good and it doesn't need the keyboard to maintain those qualities.