Just Homegrown Rock n roll

[Dani Pace]

Well here it is, oppinions, theories or any other comments welcome.
http://www.lightningmp3.com/live/file.php?fid=521 I hope the link works, this is the first time I've tried to post a link. Thanks guys.

[Dani Pace]

Come on guys, I thought at least someone into rap or metal would have told me "it sux" by now! Does no comments mean I did something right or does it mean the tune is so bad that it isn't worthy of comment?

[demensia]

I like the tune alot.
The recording could use some help, but the song itself is great.

[puffin]

Hey,

I'm no expert but I would say that from the outset there are timing issues that need to be sorted. I think it's the guitars. There is also a very high gain, thin sounding guitar playing in the background that sounds questionable.

I did like how 'large' the recording was, though.

I do like the song,too. Straightforward, unpretentious... rock on!

[Garry Sharp]

You have to be patient on the songwriting forum Dani - things is kind of slow and gentle in these parts

The song is a nice example of the genre, and the voice works well on it. It needs some variety though - that recurring riff gets very, very repetitive.

The playing really is far too loose, it almost sounds a lot of the time as if there is some kind of delay effect in there with a time setting at odds with the tempo. How was it recorded - did you play all the parts, or is it a band?

[Dani Pace]

Thanks guys. Yeah I admitt the timming is way off and the guitar parts lack definition and it's great to know that someone else notices. Comments from friends and family havent been giving me any feedback which i can build upon. Although I've been playing for years, the being behind the recording gear is still new to me in many ways. I'm not trying to get the recordings perfect, I'm more into the idea of selling a few of my songs to other artists but I still would like to be able to produce a decent version of the songs to present. I know I can do better, an objective ear is what I'm looking for. If I"m doing anything right, please tell me, and by all means please point out the things I am doing wrong. I respect honest critisizm.
Thanks for saying the song itself wasnt all bad. Bet you thought it was about a chick I am better off without. Wrong!!! It's about all the musicians who thought they were so fantastic till no one could make it without them. OK I haven't made it but I"m "Doing a Whole Lot Better" since they've been gone.

[demensia]

Its hard to critique a new person because unless its specified we don't know what it is your looking for feedback on.. Some artists are offended easily.. Some only want feedback on the lyrics, and not the music, some want feedback on everything, and some are interested in the recording.

In this particular song, I'm sure we could offer more feedback if we knew more about what you wanted critiqued.

[Dani Pace]

OK, I'll try to be more specific. First off I'm not trying to get a perfected in the studio sound, just a basic decent sounding cut to share with friends and other artists whom I hope to intrest in doing some of my songs. I want to leave enough looseness so that others have room to put their own ideas and arraingements in yet fill in enough so the song has a well rounded feel to it.
Second, I'm not a great lyricist (Is that the right word?) so any tips for keeping a sence of continuity, or critisizm if i loose it will help out.
Third, I'm a fair guitarist, although sometimes when writing I feel as though I lack imagination. I don't want to overcomplicate my songs not do I want them to be so simple that they sound amatureish. Ideas on structure changes, modulations, putting in a bridge etc. any of the things which make a song stand out or stick in your mind are the kind of comments I am hoping to get.
Fourth, I appreciate comments about things like, thin sounding guitar, and timming issues, this is the kind of critisizm which can only help me to become a better musician. Point out a week line or a bad phrase and you will help me to become a better songwriter. Suggest different compression or EQing and I might learn something about recording.
Most of my songs are sort of southern rock or country rock, I've spent most of my musical life in hole in the wall redneck juke joints and hung out with a pretty rough crowd so don't be surprised if most of my songs have a little roadhouse flavor, I guess we all write about things we can relate to and hope others will relate to them as well.
Once again, thanks for the comments, keep them comming and inspire (or provoke) me to do better.

[demensia]

The timing durring the intro and through most of the song is a bit chaotic..
Its really noticable within the first 10 seconds...

I like the progression of the song, I think its pretty interesting.. but theres an electric guitar in there doing some soloing with a tone thats a little rough.. I had some recordings like that.. sounds like a digitech guitar processor.

I'd like to hear it without the solo track...

[Dani Pace]

Cloce guess on the processor, actualy it's a DOD FX7. I have to agree that the guitar is pretty scratchy sounding, guess thats what I get for trying to make an Ibanez sound like a Tele. The start is really shaky, my timming kind of came and went throughout the song. Now that I have a better idea on the parts that need some real work I think I'll redo the whole song and hopefully make a few improvements. I'll post it as soon as possible. BTW is the guitar tone off or is it just my sloppy playing? That version was thrown together rather quickly, think I'll take my time and try to get it more presentable this time.

[demensia]

Its the guitar tone.
You can get it better.. .Its that one lead track.

[Dani Pace]

OK, I redid the whole song, tried to rely more on amp tone than processing and simplified it a little, just one lead guitar part this time. This is a raw mix, no EQing, no compression, no added efx just the basic recording. Give it a listen at http://www.lightningmp3.com/live/file.php?fid=783 and let me know if I made any improvements or if I slipped backwards. I figured a raw recording would show the areas where I need the most work, I'm trying to get a decent sound before any remixing or mastering. Thanks for any and all comments.

[demensia]

The guitars sound much better.
There are still some timing issues though..