rock/emo/whatever song for listening

[donkeystyle]

http://www.nowhereradio.com/rockindonkey/singles

so that's the song. i wrote if for a girl.

a friend of mine came and played drums on it. we only went over it a couple times before we actually recorded it, so there are definitely some mistakes, but i think he did a pretty decent job.

the bass player also only heard it a couple times and wrote and recorded the bass line in one afternoon. i think he did an outstanding job. he also helped me figure out how to do the second guitar parts and helped played one of them.

i sang and played the main guitar track. my singing sucks i think. also, there's what i believe is a hilarious drum fill in it.

what do you guys think about everything? is my singing as bad as i think.....i hope you're not too harsh, but be honest. is the mix good enough?

what would you do differently.

[jerberson12]

umm...

vocal is buried and too thin
knock down bass a little bit
the acoustic guitar doesnt sit well in the mix
and weak drums...

nice distortion though and performance

[Purge]

Hey DS, good to see you here. I don't think this is a bad tune, but there's some things that maybe could use a little work. You mentioned your singing and here's a thought about that: none of the emo/screamo bands that I like have anything that I would remotely consider a decent singer (except maybe the guys from Finch)...think Thrice and Thursday--their music is insanely good, but I sure don't listen to them for their singing. That being said, I've also noticed that those two bands have a tendency to really "bring the fuck" in their vocals. That might be something to consider here. It sounds like you've got the potential for having the voice for this kind of thing, but this recording kinda sounded "shy", for lack of a better word. Try doing a take where you intend to knock somebody's colon out with your voice, and see what you think. And I'm not necessarily talking about yelling and screaming here...

Hell, that may actually be considered advice more to myself than you...I'm supposed to record my first vocal track this weekend, and I'm nervous as hell about it. Nervousness definitely seems to show when it's committed to tape...something to think about.

You're right about that bass player. Great work. Distorted guitars sounded great as well.

The acoustic guitar comes out a little harsh sounding, and a little high in the mix. Back that down a bit and smooth it out, and that well-written and well-played part will come across much cooler.

Hope this is a help to you. Good luck with it all.

[donkeystyle]

i agree about the weak drums, well minus the snare. i think the snare is about perfect, but i think it could come up in the mix a bit. i'm thinking the bass drum needs compressed a bit. i don't know if i compressed it at all. the toms and bass drum could sound a lot bigger though.

i think maybe i'll eventually re-do the vocals, but i've got a friend that's a great singer and i think i'm going to have him give me a few lessons before i re-do them.

the acoustic could definitely come down a bit. i need to figure out how to make it more clear though. i guess the lack of clarity could just be in my playing, i don't know.

i'm trying to figure out how to eq the second guitar parts so that they are still distinguishable, but don't overpower the main guitar part and aren't brittle and thin. right now i feel like they're thin and not very clear. without eq, they really overpower the main guitar part though. anyone have any ideas on those?

thanks for listening guys. and i hope your vocals turn out better than mine purge