Song Critique - Rock/Pop

[dsynthuhsize]

Let me know what you think about my band's new song
www.vertomedia.com/3starfinal.mp3

MXLV69
Emu 1820
Waves Plugins
Sonar 4

Let me know what you think about:
Songwriting
Vocal Quality
Song Quality, etc

Thanks!!!
Ben
www.arvismusic.com
www.purevolume.com/arvis

[livilaNic]

Not bad with what your using. Do you use a pop filter? I'm getting alot of sssssss from cymbals and the singer. I'm not giving any mixing advice because I'm still fuckin around with it.

It's koo though if you like this type of thing. A couple parts need tighting here and there. keep up the good work.

Good work on production.


All in all I'll give it a B-.


L8er,
livilaNic

[dsynthuhsize]

Thanks for the comments...

I do you use a screen. HOwever, I got right up on it and maybe I didnt angle the mic right. Could be the MP3 compression?
Plus, it would be worth noting
The Drums are electronic *GASP*


Thanks,

Ben

[jake-owa]

Not bad. Could use a hell of a lot more kick. You may be limited on what you can mix on drums now if it's a machine. The bass tone isn't really very clear.

...autotune?

[livilaNic]

Originally Posted by dsynthuhsize

Thanks for the comments...

I do you use a screen. HOwever, I got right up on it and maybe I didnt angle the mic right. Could be the MP3 compression?
Plus, it would be worth noting
The Drums are electronic *GASP*


Thanks,

Ben

Could be it was at 128kbps after I dl'ed it.

[dsynthuhsize]

Bass was a problem at source, and ideas on how to fix it? Was recorded with basiclly NO mid, highs or def freq.
Autotune on vocals? Of course
Also, I think the kick is loud, I just turned it down 4 decibles because in a couple of cars it was LOUD.

Ben

[shookiejones]

That electronic kit isn't too horrible...EXCEPT as mentioned the Kick is NON-existent.

I like the tune alot. The vocal line\lyrics is\are cool as hell. The song builds and flows really nicely. You got some nice guitar sounds going on in the breakdown and the drums through the filter thing is done well too.

your vocal quality is really good and you're using it really well in this tune.

I'd like to hear more.


__________________________
another post - another 2 cents

[dsynthuhsize]

Thanks alot for the complements. do you mead the highs of the kick or the bass section of the kick?

[BMG_SKULK_MUSIC]

Sounds like a heavier Green Day in some parts. Very tight sounding.
Not my preference in music, but well done.

[shookiejones]

Originally Posted by dsynthuhsize

Thanks alot for the complements. do you mead the highs of the kick or the bass section of the kick?

I really can't hear it at all. except in the break down at (3:34) - it's kind of "small" with no "umph" to it << no extra charge for the technical terms!

When the main distorted guitar comes in again - the kick dissapears.

I would just bring it up in the mix more if you can or boost the eq on the low end??

Again, I really like the song. It sounded even better the second time through. Good work.

[dsynthuhsize]

Yea, ill try adjusting the kick more and post back. Let me know if you have any further comments.

Thanks,

Ben

[mallcore pop]

Cool tune, Ben! Check your private messages.

[Monsoon]

Damn, man. I'd buy it.

[chrisharris]

Yeah, I'd like some more thump in the kick...I'd actually like less mids in the guitars, which I almost never say. This really needs to pound you in the chest...turn the kick up 4db overall...if it's blowing out subs, highpass it.

Really nice job though...just trying to push it over the top.

[dsynthuhsize]

Would you consider this a hit song? Or not quite there? If you don't really like this style of music (green day, good charlotte, simple plan) then I understand, but if you do, would you consider this a hit song.

Thanks,

Ben

[jerberson12]

guitar distortion chain?

[dsynthuhsize]

Im sorry?
Ben

[jerberson12]

i mean what is your guitar chain in your distortion?

[livilaNic]

I think hes asking what amps, guitars, pedals and shit you use.

[dsynthuhsize]

My guitarist uses:

Fender Strat w/ Seymour JB Pickups = Metal Zone = Marshall JCM800

We don't know the best techniques for recording, etc. Please let us know if anyone has some pointers for us.

Thanks,

ben

[mallcore pop]

Hey Ben, if you need a little help with the drums, let me know (and check your private messages, I left one for you).

[Monsoon]

Originally Posted by dsynthuhsize

Would you consider this a hit song?

I won't comment on the mix aspect - others have done so already. But to get to your question as to the song itself, in my own humble opinion, and I'm no expert, I'd say almost there. Coming in at a shade under 5 minutes, it's way too long. My own suggestion if you want to go hit song category is to cut the acoustic part from around 2:58 to about 3:40. That'll drop about 45 seconds, plus, that part of the song doesn't quite fit as much. Artistically, I appreciate it's place in the song, but to go "hit" I think you can drop it. Plus, I think it cuts into the vibe of the song a bit too much - takes you down for too long. I'd also cut out a few of the repetitions at the end to shave off a bit more time.

Other than that, I love it. I think it's an awesome song. Frankly, and no disrespect to anyone else on the board, it's the first time I've listened to a "how's my song" posting here and came away thinking that the person's song is light years ahead of what I've done. That's not to say that I think I'm better than anyone else (hey, I haven't posted mine up yet for review), or that I haven't heard wonderful stuff posted here, because I have.

But this one I think is special.

Again, just my humble opinon, FWIW.

[D-ragonS5]

not gonna talk about the recording quality..just the song:

well its a good song... I wouldnt call it a hit though. If it was mastered, mass produced, and distributed via Universal etc... I hate to be brutal but it may not do that great. However it would be a great second release If you had a better first song. If the first song broke the top 10 this one would have the potential to do the same.

Not to take anything away, it came out petty good and might work as a good demo for a talent agent. I say it would be a good demo, even if its not a great first release, because it shows your bands versatility and creativity and willingness to work hard (home recording = not easy)...all things an agent looks for in a new group.

hell toss it up on myspace.com and see what others think.

On vocal quality (something I have a lot of experiance with) id say your lead singer has a good emo/punkish voice comparable to Simple Plan, Story of the Year, and Yellow Card. I did notice a few blemishes, but no big deal. If your singer wants to get rid of them tell him to try lemon water before singing... it tightens the vocal chords and gets rid of some rough spots that will show up in a recording.


and now after reading the above post i agree with monsoon.

[dsynthuhsize]

NEW VERSION (listen for NEW scream, harder part 2:25)

www.arvismusic.com/lastcallforinnocence.mp3

WOW!! That some of the best critiques I have ever recieved. Thank you very much, everyone.

Mallcore, Shookie:
In the latest version, I completetly re-eqed the kick and bass.

Mallcore:
Thanks, How should I mix it down? MP3 straight out?

Chris: Reduced the lowish mids in the guitar, sounds AWESOME, as you can hear.

Finally, Monsoon & D-ragon:
Monsoon, wow, that was a freaking encouraging comment. I definitely hear you on the length. If we get signed, we will take that up with the big boys

D-ragon:

I kinda pride myself on having a good ear, and I agree with you there. I think the chorus has hit potential, but not huge, and the verse is a little hard hitting for mainstream. Would you agree? As for your ear to my voice, thank you, I definitely will do that lemon juice thing. May I ask how you have come to aqquire that knowledge and the vocal experience?

To everyone:

Thanks! And please keep commenting!


< ben >
www.arvismusic.com
www.purevolume.com/arvis

[mallcore pop]

Pretty cool! Try a delay at 2:30, to reinforce the scream after the reverse fade-in. I left you another pm, so I don't start clogging up your thread.

Joe