9/11 song

[mckayormacky]

-wrote this song when i was thinking about what someone was thinking before they jumped. just seeing what you guys think.

I used to hate when wind blew hair into my face
and I forgot the smell of clouds, and how beutiful my blood was
to bad I remmember in this moment.

burn my eyes for one last time
over wild skies
breathe in the smoke, let out the cries
and fly for the first time

from the shadow wreathe
Ill fall threw this sky in hopes I land somewhere safe
unharmed, uninjured, and unhurt. but I hope I land somewhere safe....
I hope i land somewhere safe.

there is a whole story line this guy goes threw where he has a conflict with another man over a women. dies and becomes death(controller of death so to say) if you want to know more let me know.

[mckayormacky]

heres another part of the story. see if you can figure out whats happening hehe.

BTW still looking for feedback.

-with the sorrow-

You know that window isnt broke
i hope her ashes make you choke
for air so bad that you cant breathe
for air so bad that you cant see
so i can whisper in your ear
how lovly the sky is iv planned for you
once a beautiful blue but now ablaze
your blurry eyes cant save the day.

Deal with the sorrow that you make
Deal with the sorrow you create
Deal with the sorrow that you make
because it wont be going away.

[mckayormacky]

o well getting no feedback, ill just add another part of the story.

As I walk with the Roses
no hole breaks my step
no thorne pricks my finger
no sun burns my neck

As I walk with the Roses
no wind hurts my eyes
no flowers Decumbent
no friends tell me lies

As I walk with the Roses
no intrigue for time
no rain come to fall
no conspiracy of mind

As I walk with the Roses
and no worries come ahead
I know at this moment
that I must be Dead

[mckayormacky]

o well no comments. ill put up one more, but ill stop if no feedback lol.

Ill sit in the dark until you come and find me
but dont wander to far light fades for you to
Ill sit in the dark until you come and find me
but dont look forever as I would for you

Ill keep my eyes shut until you help me see
but remmember that your eyes dont have the same view
Ill keep my eyes shut until you help me see
but dont show me something I wouldnt show you

Ill stay here alone until you come and save me
but please dont forget me whatever you do
Ill stay here along until you come and save me
but youll never save me if I dont save you.

[Dogman]

OK, I'll reply. What is the music the words go to? They are good lyrics, but I'd like to hear a song. I would dread the thought of having this tragesdy happen to me, but as far as a song goes, interesting perspective. I envy someone who has such a good "imagination", if you will.

[mckayormacky]

well i dont have recorded music yet. only songs from my band that is no more. i am sick of dealing with my friends always not being dedicated. so i came here to learn about recording all my songs myslef. so iv been learning, but dropping lyrics down here to get some feedback.

[Dogman]

Well, keep it up. I sometimes get so stumped for lyrics, and worry about being too cliche about stuff, yet without words, the songs aren't as much fun.

[mckayormacky]

go listen to the radio for 30 minutes. itll make you feel 100% better about any lryics you write.

[Rokket]

Originally Posted by mckayormacky

go listen to the radio for 30 minutes. itll make you feel 100% better about any lryics you write.

I haven't listened to a radio since 1991. I can't take the crap that comes out of it.

[mckayormacky]

i wish i could be in the room when some of the writers from the bands on the radio present thier lyrics to the rest of the band. thinking of another human being thinking the lyrics are good boggles my mind.

[Dogman]

I often believe that when some of these people "write" a song, it is born of an idea of how to make money, not music. That's why all the fuss over a certain length for radio, and stuff. If that's what people want to listen to, and you write for those people that like the formula, I suppose that's fine. Someone's got to do it. I'd rather just have fun, and write what I want to, or work with other people and do stuff because that's what we want, and if it appeals to a small audience, great. If it only appeals to me, oh well.

[Junkman]

As a lyric writer, I want to make sure every single word counts; one word can change the whole flavor of a song. One of the main challenges of songwriting is to put a lot of substance into a small container. If you want other people to listen, you have to make it interesting. Trim every bit of fat and be ruthless, and remember: Inspiration is for amatuers.