well here is another thing i wrote, opinions please

[thenextbigthing]

ok i wrote this oneday bored and i thought it was pretty cool but i dont know, could this be a song or something would it be a heavy song or soft or in between or what? Or maybe it isnt a song at all


The Truth

fire breaks the soil
fear rains a flood
scared to death
torturing their minds
of whats happening.
whats happening?
all the bad people dying
while the other people live
the carcase they see
are the worms that cant die
walking the earth trying to
extinguish the cries of reality
but echoes throught the world.
lakes of fire leak through a
pit of screams, weeping and
wailing. chills on the flesh of
an old body focusing on the everlasting
punishment and chains. now thirsting
for the unquechable
fire that will never be quenched.
souls leave the body realizing something
is happening, you scream, hearing a
sound getting louder and louder
while terror and fear beyond anything
imagine overtakes, gnashing your
teeth with the millions as your
worm is emerging.
why does something deserve
so much? while not knowing they chose
this. no rest day nor night
begging for death
cursing the day you were born
the red dragon fly's
joyfully in the eternal blackness
of the darkest sky's
nostriles,eyes,ears and mouth
burn from the flames roaring
out of every opening of the
new body, wishing to be born
and to die in a painless
extinction, not knowing theres
no hope whatsoever
as you remember now the preacher
pleading you to recieve his name.
and now you know where you are
and now you know nothing you
say or do can erase this horror from
your mind, and the wicked you
shall be as you turn into...
you will see...
you will smell...
you will breathe...
you will feel..
you will become HELL

[Rokket]

It's long as hell, I'll say that. Perhaps if the lines were joined together, it might be a bit more eye-friendly. As written, it's poetry.
And it's really dark...

[Fat_Satchel]

heh...ever watch this movie called Mr Wrong? it has Ellen Degeneres and Bill Pullman in it. Anyways...he reads her one of his poems in the movie and this really reminds me of his writing style hehe

Funny stuff...guess ya gotta see the movie.

[Love & Light]

thats dark man!