Metal song lyrics - Run and Hide please give me some feedback

[dvsbruchko]

Since I've given some feedback on other people's lyrics, I thought it was only fair to put out one of my songs from my old band (which has since fallen apart). We performed this song once for our biggest crowd (800 people), but the band didn't stick around long enough to find out how it went over. Let me know what you think, thanks.

The dreams all have at night,
They exist but once a day
And like the shadows on the wall, we know
They're real but fade away

And so the tendency remains
Construct our own world of belief
To gain control in being lost
For just a moment of relief

Chorus: You want to escape
And so you try
All conscienceness is lost
And all resolve denied
And still you suffer on
With nowhere to run and hide

Interlude: After the end
What was this fighting for
After the end
Still marching on and on... (pause)
All that I've known
All that I've seen
The fires of hell, and the coldness of space
And all the stages in between

Drown the thoughts with time
Or are the curtains already drawn
And is the lack of light, that now fills your eyes
Finally enough

Somber score composed
Heard in heavens, one to cry
Frozen tears of rain, on open graves
Resound the last goodbye

end Chorus

--the song was written about overcoming addiction problems in general and what I've seen happen

On that note, any comments ?

[jayster10125]

I like it. The lyrics certainly keep the interest, which is another point, because in so many metal songs the lyrics are covered up by sound (often just noise.) However, some of these songs aren't given enough credit for their emotional value. These lyrics have true substance and meaning. The moderate amount of rhyming is used effectively...but not too much or too obvious.

Too bad the band broke up. I guess it wasn't right though. Keep writing I guess.

I hope that was at least a little bit helpful. I'm not just being nice because you were nice to me. BTW...some addiction songs are too darned obvious about what they're talking about. I feel for a great song about drugs and addiction there should be a good amount of mystery and metaphors. Think about "Hotel California." Great song...it's not about a hotel in California, either.

[Songwriter333]

I like it- well done- makes me nostalgic for my old band, a little.