a 16 year old steps up!CRAZZYYY!

[lil_stebo]

yo let me tell ya somethin,
i m white,
but my shit is tight,
rappin's what i m lovin.

like i said rappin,s what i m lovin,
my dreams yea i m chassin,
adversity's what i m facin,
u'll soon see me on b.e.t tv station.

man i m tha best freestyler,
100% original ghost writer,
think jin's da man guess what my flow is thighter,
compared 2 me all da rappers today r oldtimers.

man i m probly only 16,
but garantie my rhymes will stay clean,
at a young age already swimmin in green,
man my name's big in da city trust me i've been seen.
i've done more than most and i'm still a teen.

[Layla Nahar]

hey lil guy,

people here seem not to get too excited about rap - i suggest you post your lyrics at futureproducers.com or soundclick.com

good luck

[distortedrumble]

man you aint nothin but 16
swimming in green?
we know you're swimming in wet dreams and hiding the weed
go wash ya self son and get ready for summer school
and dont miss the bus cause nobody's taking you

[turnitdown]

Yeay.... rap music lyrics.... yeay.... (or should I say "word"?....)

[Codmate]

I'm bored of rappers just telling us about how great they are.

I prefer rapps that tell a story or portray a series of scenarios.

See C.R.E.A.M and 'A Better Tomorrow' by the Wu Tang Clan for what you should be aiming for.

Look at the end of the second verse of A Better Tomorrow:

It lightly begins to rain screams of terror
are hidden by the passing trains
This can't be little Hussein, his uncle cried
As he drops to his nephew's side, holding his cane
Just give me a name, of who has inflicted this
bitter sickness, and left us to witness

That's one of the most beautiful moments in rap IMO.