tell me what you think...

[nopoetic]

i want people's honest opinions of these few songs. the recording quality isnt perfect by any means, so i dont really care about any of that. i just want to know what people think of song in general. any specific comments are fine, i just want to know what people would think of them in a live setting and if they bought my album if i ever have one.

anyway...
heres my website - www.orionrock.cjb.net
heres the links to the songs i want an opinion on:

4am
http://home.comcast.net/~siriusmusic/4am.mp3

Amurca
http://home.comcast.net/~siriusmusic/Amurca.mp3

Ara
http://home.comcast.net/~siriusmusic/Ara.mp3

Strings
http://home.comcast.net/~siriusmusic/Strings.mp3

theres only one other song on the site but i dont like it...so you can listen to it if you want, but i dont like the song. it needs work. thanks for anyone's comments.

[nopoetic]

is anyone going to comment on anything?

[gmiller1122]

Hey,

I listened to a few of your songs and read some lyrics. You have a unique way of structuring your songs. I like how you avoid the verse/chorus/bridge pattern.

Some lyrics I like:
"to divide these colors
wispered into swirls, of oil in our dreams"

"I'll find the tools to wind these strings
back to spools"

"i caught your dreams in a paper cup
and leaked them to the world"

"the once forgotten anchor
of love and lost and pain"

I think you write really interesting lyrics. There are some fine moments of insight. Sometimes, the song doesn't seem to stay together, though. That is, the lyrics and/or rythym gets lost at times. I suggest changing up some of your playing...quiet, loud, quiet, slaps, bass lines only...these will give your songs more shape and definition. Also, do the same with your singing and melodies. Just pick a line and SCREAM it, or whisper it. That'll keep your listeners on their toes. So will a unique/unexpected melody from time to time.

Rock on, man. Your songs have some real potential. (having done the coffeehouse/open mic circuit myself, I know it can be tough in different ways, but just have fun -- as with anything enjoyable, it goes by way too quickly).

G

[nopoetic]

thank you a lot for your comments. its probably the best information ive recieved about my songs. im still learning a lot and im kind of new to writeing acoustic songs mainly so i guess these are kinda rough. thank you a lot though and i will consider your comments. im glad you enjoyed some of it and see potential in it. the music and lyrics are normally seperate workings so i appreciate comments on both.

[jeffrydada]

I've listened to your stuff, and like G says I too think you have some interesting lyrics. I have a question though, have you ever studied music composition? The reason why I'm asking is that either you are extremely brilliant and are trying to create something new by breaking the rules of songwriting or you don't know what the rules of songwritting are. G thinks maybe you are avoiding the verse/chorus/bridge pattern, are you? If you are that's ok but think on this: All your favorite songs that you remember the best and stick in your head, have structure to them. There might be a hooky line in the chorus that repeats itself over and over and over, or a tag line at the end of each verse that is easy to remember. One of the best ways to learn structure is to listen to songs that have differing structures. Older country tunes had an AAA pattern Rock tends to be mainly ABABC or AABA. If I've lost you, then you need to find out. Go to google and type "songwriting" and start clicking links there is a lot of free advice out there. I apologize if I come across as harsh but I have been critiqueing songs for 20 years and the music biz is brutal, (I really am a very nice guy, really!) so the more you know the better prepared you'll be when you are ready to promote yourself to the bigboys. Keep writing, there is potential in your work, you just need to perfect your art.
J.

[nopoetic]

i dont listen to a lot of popular music but i do listen to a lot of music in general and the different bands and styles i find the most attractive and the best song writing is from artists who dont follow the same rules as a lot of the music people hear. my favorite music is a lot different from yours probably. i like the odd. i dont think im brilliant, and i do understand some theory, but im not aiming to make the popular music crowd like my music. i guess i write for myself and what i think sounds good. i guess im picky, i dunno. the only people who really like the music are people who listen to a lot of the same music i do. im glad for your comments though. i dont really write pop songs either. its hard to really say what i want without sounding like im tearing your comments apart though. i dont mean to, but what you said is cliche and exactly what i dont want my music becoming..predictable. im slowly learning how to do it better..i hope ive accomplished it to an extent. catchy to me isnt a form fitted song that should do *insert cliche object here* right at this exact moment cause thats what everyone expects and what every other song in the entire world of the music bussiness does. see my point?

but thank you for commenting, any criticism is welcomed, im just going to take it how i take it. thanks though.