Two new songs

[Kranak]

I have posted two new songs for you listening pleasure I have already gotten comments on song 8.1 from this forum(BTW I have a newly mixed version of it based upon the feedback from here, I just need to post the new version) and appreciate the feedback, so down and sunshine is what I am looking for feedback on. Any kind of tips will be appreciated, from production to songwriting to peformance. Thanks in advance.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/6/sp...thingmusic.htm


Jeff Patterson

[slkeen]

Listening to Sunshine, very poor tone on the acoustic. Or is that an electric? I can't tell. Use a mic. I play acoustic guitar and you will really like the miced sound, 200% better. WAY too much reverb on everything. The vocals are distinct, listenable.

[packratlouie]

If you want a neat tone, mic your acoustic with any mic about 12-14" away and point it straight at the point where neck meets body. Pan that far left or right, then throw an acoustic pickup on, and pan that to the remaining side. If you track it just right and maybe mix a couple channels, you can really get a warm crisp pleasant sounding acoustic that leaves the listening asking "hmm, i wonder how he recorded that."

Now that I have actually listened to the song I have realized that it is an electric at the beginning.

Try Eq'ing each of the tracks and adding a little more upper end. Also panning the drums in any fashion whatsoever would really rip this mix open nicely. I like the bass though, sounds pretty neat. Your guitar in the back sits nicely, but once again maybe tune down its phasyness. This could sound really cool.

I like the drums in the slow parts. Just remember, less is more when recording beats like that. Being a drummer myself, amongst other things, try focus on less anticipation of th beat, especially in slow areas, because it lets the rest of the mix move itself along. So just slightly delay the snare beat, just barely... just enough so that its not moving the mix forward. I really like the accents on hi-hats with kick etc. Throw a few triplets on the snare and fills in there. At 4:28 when the rimclicks start, I like that. Reminds me of the song "birdland". This is still sounding pretty cool. Toss some distant vocals on, and this could sound pretty neat. Good work man. Rock on

[Kranak]

Thanks for the tips, i will work on both of your suggestions this weekend. Any other tips or suggestions.

Jeff Patterson

[Rhythmschism]

"Sunshine"

I think the song could be shorter and still not loose anything. For one, I might shorten up the intro. After a minute plus of 2 chord alternating I start to loose interest quickly, which doesn't do the chorus justice. I like what happens at 1:16, you might consider elaborating on this a little more before the chorus. Also, the section from after the first chorus to the next chorus seems to wander and drag, could be shortened.

Throughout the song, the rhythm guitar needs to be tightened up. The most common thing I notice seems to be a hesitation on the downbeat, among a few other timing issues. It also sounds like you could be pressing the strings down a little harder to give a cleaner sound in some places. There seems to be some small tuning issues as well. That lead guitar that kicks in with the chorus is very distracting. I don't know if it is out of tune sounding on purpose, but it not I would fix that. At the very least I would take it down a little, as it seems to drown out the rhythm guitar some, and distracts from the main melody more than I think a supplemental riff should.

Definitely overboard with the reverb.

Overall I liked the song, strong chorus. Very Cobain sounding vocals, in a good way.

[Kranak]

The slide guitar at the end was ment to be very loose both in rhythm and tuning; however, I can see the point to turning it down some, bringing the vocals up a bit like some have suggested will help with this as well. As far as the hesitation on the down beat. That is something I had a really hard time with. I didn't not write this music, the singer did and that is exactly how he wants it played. It took a bit for me to get that down since it wasn't a purely comfortable rhythm. By monday I will update these song with as many of these issues as possible fixed. More feedback after then would also be appreciated.

Jeff Patterson