The Return of Jeap

[jeap]

hey i made a song here

see if you can point out all the things wrong with it

there are 7



http://www.nowhereradio.com/internauts/singles

[jeap]

OK!

I TOOK ALL YOUR SUGGESTIONS INTO CONSIDERATION AND MASTERED THE THING!

PLS LET ME KNOW WHAT YOUS THINK!

[slkeen]

7 things wrong ... hmm?

1 it sounds like the guitar is out of tune

2 its sounds like the whole thing is about a 1 minute loop copied four times

3 it sounds like there's only 2 chords

4 it sound like something from the 60s

5 it sounds like the vocals are off

6 the cymbal crash cuts off abruptly, so you know its a cheap drum thing.

7 the tempo drags, way too slow

[packratlouie]

1.) Guitar intonation is out, or the tuning out.. or both
2.) The tambourine hits, or whatever it is, is often anticipating the snare beat
4.) The crash has too quick of a decay which gives away its midi'ness
5.)I think its looped if I'm not mistaken
6.) The backup vocals at 1:35 sound like you had something caught in your throat... unless that was your choice
7.) The vocals drag the song. You could keep it at this tempo, but throwing in a double time vocal bar here and there would really change it up. Even bringing one of the guitars a little more out during the interlude could be nice
8.) I cannot understand what the lyrics mean when you put them all together.

you could spice this up by adding a bit of reverb and maybe pickin up the pace, and throwing some hotter vocals in. The nice thing about changing the pace is that the listener would be able to more readily interpret your lyrics. In between the pauses of the lyrics during your piece, the listener tends to focus on the instrumentals for that brief moment and will forget the last verse, and forget to listen to the next one. A pace pickup would make a decent improvement.

[guitarjesus]

Its not bad.

[jeap]

woo!!!

i read that the bible jesus never existed did you ever hear anything like that????


the number 1 thing wrong is its a cover!!! covers are not allowed!!!!! i figured somebody would catch that right away.


its a ramones song!!!!

i just started computer recording so im just working out the kinks with my hardware/software crap.

i think theres guitar buzz in there from my guitars being close to the monitor. is it the monitor that does that? i want to get an lcd and maybe that would solve that. i think i can hear some of that buzz in there.

of course all the other stuff is right too. i like the tempo but the song drags. i should have left out the 2nd round; the tune should be a lot shorter.

of course i cant hit all the notes perfectly ha ha. and i cant hit the tambourine in perfect time. and i cant intonate my guitars perfectly.

i CAN improve the crash cymbal tho... if i can get some wav samples into frootloops.

AND THERES 3 FREEKIN CHORDS IN THERE

i didnt loop anything but i did play it as if it was looped to minimize mistakes. i dont like complex parts or editing.


ANYWAYS THANKS FOR THE SUGGESTIONS ITS NICE TO HAVE THINGS IN MIND TO WORK ON FOR THE NEXT THING