What can't a drummer do with two hands?

[Omcat]

I'm a guitarist and bassist making
home demos using a drum machine. What I could
really do with is some sagely advice on what
rhythm techniques are physically difficult/impossible for a drummer to perform
*woah, that last sentence sounds terrible*.
"Huh, huh, huh he said 'Rhythm Techniques'"

Ahem, anyway... For example, what about snare
rolls and fills?
How do these affect what is
happening on the hi-hat?
What sounds do you think are acceptable to
hear simultaneously and what would seem strange or obviously programmed to you?
I'd also welcome any tips on giving my drum
programs a more natural feel - ie. something
more swinging/relaxed and less mechanical.

Hope I'm making sense?!
Thanx.

[S8-N]

A drummer can't be opening and closing the high hat while doing a fast double kick part... But I program them in anyway. Most real drummers will mutilate your drum machine parts anyway... whether they are playable or not.

[Nate]

This is incredibly dumb looking, but what I've done before is to "air drum" the parts-thinking that if I (not a drummer) can do it, then it is possible/realistic to play/program. Another thing I've tried is to lift fills from drummers I like, and program those into the song. That has sort of helped me to think more like a drummer and less like a guitarist programming a drum machine.

[kristian]

here is a tip for not the most technical sounding drum fills etc. but think like this and the fills will always sound more real. a drummer has two hands and a foot, lets keep it simple. and you can still get good sounds from single stroke fills, and beats. That means no more then the kick drum and two pieces on the top of the kit can be hit at the same time. but if you are going for technical sounding stuff, maybe listening to drummers you like will help.

[Buck62]

Listen to some of the drumming by Steve Gadd or Billy Cobham and all logic of what a drummer can or can't do goes right out the window. I've heard drumming in Spyro Gyra tunes that seem almost impossible, yet I've seen these guys do it all live.
I'm a drummer, guitarist, keyboardist who can hold his own... but, just because I can't master a certain technique, I never assume that it can't be done. There's some incredibly gifted musicians out there that always seem to disprove what others say "can't be done."

[carl james]

what ever you do, on a roll cut the hi-hat---dead giveaway, also on the hihat vary every other beat in volume another giveaway, same with the snare, but not every other one about every five( if that makes any sense )

[DaveO]

Nate:

You really made me laugh with that "air drum" comment. That's how I always work out a part when I program it and I never felt weird until I let my wife videotape me. Now when I do it I think about how it looks and can help laughing. Looks silly but it's pretty effective.