Guitar/Bass/Keyboard/Vocals(?!) Effects Units

[karabiners]

Howdy there...another stupid newbie question...

I play a bit of keyboard (Yamaha psr310, I know, I know), a bit of bass (Yamaha), and am looking at getting an entry-level electric guitar (Fender squire any good?). I'm thinking I'd like a multi effects pedal console that will work for all these (and maybe vocals?)

I've been told various things by various people. Things like "Everyone's going back to analogue these days." "A guitar unit will be fine, as long as you only use the distortion effects on the 6-string." "Don't run a bass through a 6-string unit - you'll blow the valves/screw the unit/end the world/find youself in a pile of custard covered kittens" etc.

Is there a unit which suits my purposes? I'm looking at zoom GFX-707's and stuff...