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Thread: Jokes!!

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    elbandito's Avatar
    elbandito is offline potential lunch winner
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    Cool Jokes!!

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    Have you got some funny jokes to share? Drop them here!

    Two women are walking through the woods when suddenly they hear a voice say, "Ladies! Ladies!" They look around but don't see anyone. Then they hear it again. "Ladies! Ladies! Down here!" They look down and see a small pond with a frog sitting on a lily pad.
    "Is that you?" one of the ladies asks the frog.
    "Yes," is the frog's reply.
    The two women are in shock. "How can you talk to us?" They ask. "You're a frog."
    "I got turned into a frog by a wicked witch," explains the frog. "I'm really a fantastic jazz saxophone player."
    "Really?" say the women. "Is that true?"
    "Yes," answers the frog, "and all it will take is one kiss from either of you, and I will immediately change back into a fantastic jazz saxophone player."
    Right away, one of the women gets down on her knees, reaches across the pond to the lily pad and gently picks up the frog. She stands up and quickly puts the frog in her pocket and starts to walk away.
    Her startled friend says, "Hey, wait a minute! Where are you going? He said that if you kiss him, he'll turn into a fantastic jazz saxophone player!"
    "What are you, crazy?" says the other woman. "I can make a lot more money with a talking frog than I can with a fantastic jazz saxophone player."


    Kenny G walks into an elevator and says, "Man, this place is HAPPENING!"

    What's the last thing a drummer says before he's thrown out of the band?
    "Let's play one of MY songs"


    Have you heard the one about the guitar player that plays in tune?
    ...........neither have I.
    Usually posted from my cellphone telephone.

    "What you did wrong is assume that because you read it on the internet it's not a stupid idea." - bouldersoundguy

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    A neutron walked into a bar and asked how much a pint would cost. The bartender replied: For you, no charge!


    A Higgs Boson walks into a Catholic church
    The priest says: We don't want your type around here
    The Higgs particle then says: But without me you can't have mass!

    Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar.... and doesn't!
    ♫♪♫ I have a fever and the cure is cowbell ♫♪♫ .......... *LIVE FREE OR DIE* .......... ♫ I'm all ears ♫

    ☼ Mucho Loco Henry Areebah! ☼

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    Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
    "Nahhhhhhhhhhhh mannnnnnnnnnn. I ain't touching that mic. That thing's expensive."

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    Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.

    To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.
    ♫♪♫ I have a fever and the cure is cowbell ♫♪♫ .......... *LIVE FREE OR DIE* .......... ♫ I'm all ears ♫

    ☼ Mucho Loco Henry Areebah! ☼

    Any mic you buy will be perfectly suited to your needs, until you use it long enough to learn that it's not.

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    What do you get from a pampered cow?



    Spoiled milk.
    COMIC SANS STRIKES BACK!

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    Moresound, you're a science NERD! I had no idea. I've got a bunch of nerdy jokes to share too... here's one that I really like:

    How do you throw a party in Outer Space?

    You PLANET!
    Usually posted from my cellphone telephone.

    "What you did wrong is assume that because you read it on the internet it's not a stupid idea." - bouldersoundguy

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    moresound's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by elbandito View Post
    Moresound, you're a science NERD! I had no idea. I've got a bunch of nerdy jokes to share too... here's one that I really like:

    How do you throw a party in Outer Space?

    You PLANET!
    Good one.

    Yup Big science Nerd!!
    ♫♪♫ I have a fever and the cure is cowbell ♫♪♫ .......... *LIVE FREE OR DIE* .......... ♫ I'm all ears ♫

    ☼ Mucho Loco Henry Areebah! ☼

    Any mic you buy will be perfectly suited to your needs, until you use it long enough to learn that it's not.

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    Moresound will like this one.



    Pascal, Newton and Einstein are playing hide and seek.
    Einstein stays to count while Pascal snd Newton go hide.
    Pascal goes and finds a hiding spot, while Newton draws a square around himself.
    Einstein turns around and sees Newton and says "I found you!"
    Newton replies "Nope. What you see is one newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!"
    COMIC SANS STRIKES BACK!

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    Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha! Oh that Newton.
    ♫♪♫ I have a fever and the cure is cowbell ♫♪♫ .......... *LIVE FREE OR DIE* .......... ♫ I'm all ears ♫

    ☼ Mucho Loco Henry Areebah! ☼

    Any mic you buy will be perfectly suited to your needs, until you use it long enough to learn that it's not.

  10. #10
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    How can you tell if the stage is level?
    The drummer drools evenly out of both sides of his mouth.

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