The Way She Smiles

SilverBeat

New member
This is my December 2016 song, I completed the final mix yesterday

The Way She Smiles - Listen at - https://www.reverbnation.com/silverbeat/song/27241835-the-way-she-smiles

I never Saw her eyes
If I would have
I would have seen through the lies
She never let me in
If she would have
She would have Thought less to sin

Chorus

I really love the way she smiles
I really need the way it makes me feel inside
I'm gonna miss the way she smiles
I'm gonna miss the things she never had to hide, the good times

So many times I tried
Tried to reach out
To a love that must of died
So tender is the pain
When you love her
And you find your loves in vain

Repeat Chorus

So many ways she delights me
So many ways she excites me
But I can't ignore the rain
 
You've been a member for 5 years and this is your first post?

Must 'have' died BTW.

Why have you posted this? Here in particular?
 
You have some issues regarding consistent narrative position as well as some simple grammar as mentioned by Armistice.
The lead synth patch is just plain awful. It reduces the rest of the music to obvious midi which is a pity because the melody is good and your voice isn't bad. Pity also that you didn't use the phrase The Good Times - would've come in well after the oh ohs in the line you've written. The solo is a bust I'm afraid.
I never saw her eyes
If I had
I would have seen through the lies
She didn't let me in
If she had
She'd be less inclined to sin

Chorus

I really love the way she smiles
I really need the way it makes me feel inside
I'm gonna miss the way she smiles
I'm gonna miss the things she never had to hide: the good times

So many times I tried
Tried to reach out
To a love that must have or must've died
So tender is the wound or How savage is the pain
When I love her
And I find my love's in vain

Repeat Chorus

So many ways she delights me
So many ways she excites me
But I can't ignore the rain
 
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