My life is anew in Christ

Here's the entire rewrite:

I'm renewed and saved today,
Once a slave to sinful things,
That old life has passed away,
For now I serve the King of Kings

I'm bought with blood and firm I'll stand,
I'm not the man I used to be,
I'm holding to His nail scared hand,
Jesus made a change in me.

Bridge)
He shed his precious blood,
To save a wretch like me,
His mercy knows no bounds,
By His grace we're free!

(Chorus)
Though we don't deserve the love,
He poured out at Calvary,
Where He made our sin His own,
Where we nailed Him to that tree.
He cried "forgive them Father please,
For they know not what they do"
there our debt was paid in full,
And He gave us life anew!

Lamb of God slain for my sin,
you bore it all as yours to pay,
Now I've been washed and born again,
I'll strive to walk the narrow way.

Let everything i do and say
Help lead others to your door
Lord I pray you'll light my way,
Until I reach the golden shore

(Bridge)
(Chorus twice)
 
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ido1957 said:
Reads good - I think your revision will work well.
Click to expand...
It sings well too. Sometimes lines that have the correct meter and rhyme, for one reason or another, are hard to sing. For example, a word with an "I" consonant is much harder to sing on a high note than a word with an "o" consonant. At any rate it sings well and when I memorize the lyric I will record another rough demo and post it
 
Okay, had a listen to the new and it's got much better chord progression and fits your voice much better.
Recorded a little something I thought might be to your liking. It's one take as is, so don't be too critical of my playing. Only practiced for 10 minutes. Disclaimer...excuse... Anyway, it's 110 bpm to click, so it doesn't line up perfect.
View attachment Life Anew.mp3
If you want a piano line, I'd be glad to do some better work.
 
Man, that's cool. I love it!
I would love and very much appreciate a piano line Broken_H.
I can use it as the backbone 9 the song and layer everything else on accordingly. Thanks so much for offering!
We should do a writing collaboration ...
I have a great title/hook for a song about end times:
"Things aren't falling apart, they're just falling into place."
 
BroKen_H said:
Okay, Do you want it to follow straight 110 or ???
Click to expand...
I dunno. I'm at work now and I'll sing with it on the.way home and see. The tempo seemed good when I listened, but you never really know until you try to sing the lyric along with it. I'll be off at 6 pm. I will let you know.
I think I played it a hair too fast on the demo I posted, but it would be an easy song to drag on.
 
Jimistone,
It's not a new story obviously so I was hoping for a new perspective or slant on things.
You've, as mentioned in your initial post, opted for a classicist rendering of the story and that's fine you've constructed a fairly traditional narrative that doesn't offer anything from you or your time.
I've noted a couple of things: you slip from me to we almost capriciously, It is important to keep the narrative steady. I can understand the desire to bring a congregation along with you but that can be structured; you use license to opt for tree rather than cross/crucifix which sounds OK but doesn't read as well; reference to slave and free and serve make a muddle of the concept. - I know what you mean but freed/bought/accept servitude/serve a king are all rather close together in the lyric and rub against each other uncomfortably.
The image of holding his hand is fine but it's preceded by man - the image better suits child.
The melody is cool and the grainy countrified voice works well.

I'm renewed and saved today,
Once a slave to sinful things,
That old life has passed away,
For now I serve the King of Kings from slave to servitude?

I'm bought with blood and firm I'll stand, This reinforces the slave status
I'm not the man I used to be,
I'm holding to His nail scared hand, wrist?. child like image
Jesus made a change in me.

Bridge)
He shed his precious blood,
To save a wretch like me,
His mercy knows no bounds,
By His grace we're free! we should be me throughout

(Chorus)
Though we don't deserve the love,
He poured out at Calvary,
Where He made our sin His own, our?
Where we nailed Him to that tree. WE? tree?
He cried "forgive them Father please,
For they know not what they do"
there our debt was paid in full, Our?
And He gave us life anew! us?

Lamb of God slain for my sin,
you bore it all as yours to pay,
Now I've been washed and born again,
I'll strive to walk the narrow way.

Let everything i do and say
Help lead others to your door
Lord I pray you'll light my way,
Until I reach the golden shore

(Bridge)
(Chorus twice)
 
I'm renewed and saved today,
Once a slave to sinful things,
That old life has passed away,
For now I serve the King of Kings

Personally I really liked the way the first read on that particular thing: the line about becoming a slave to Christ. So much of today's theology is centered around a loving, giving, merciful God (and He is) and so little is devoted to Him being judge and master. If you read the first verse of Romans or Jude or 2 Peter or even Revelation, you'll see that Paul and Jude and Peter and John all represented themselves as Christ's servants. Moses was referred to as "God's servant." Reconciliation means that God reconciled the world to Himself through Jesus..."all things are become new and all things are of God" Jesus didn't say the greatest shall be the freest of all, He said they would be the servant of all.

I'm bought with blood and firm I'll stand,
I'm not the man I used to be,
I'm holding to His nail scared hand, wrist?.
Jesus made a change in me.

Bought shows both that we are not our own, bought with that price, and that we are soldiers under hire.
I'm not sure what the hand is scared of? should be scarred? but this comes from Psalms 22:16

AFA I/we I only see one thing you might call out of place: The verses are 100% Me/I/My. The Chorus is 100% We/Our. So the only problem is the dual nature of the bridge, which goes from my to our to gap the two. I really don't see a problem with that structure. Standard witness: This is what I've encountered, and you can have it too. Works for diet pill commercials, weight loss programs, income tax software...

One of my recent critiques from my inner circle was that I should rewrite "He suffered and died on Mount Calvary" to something that said tree or cross to be more specific. How many people who listen to Christian music don't know that these are interchangeable in a lyric? Yeah, if you start spouting about Aaron's rod or Balaam's donkey, you might get some :confused:, but the cross is the tree and was on Mount Calvary. They are all where he died.

Anyway, I'm rambling. I'll work on a piano part. :D
 
rayc said:
Jimistone,
It's not a new story obviously so I was hoping for a new perspective or slant on things.
You've, as mentioned in your initial post, opted for a classicist rendering of the story and that's fine you've constructed a fairly traditional narrative that doesn't offer anything from you or your time.
I've noted a couple of things: you slip from me to we almost capriciously, It is important to keep the narrative steady. I can understand the desire to bring a congregation along with you but that can be structured; you use license to opt for tree rather than cross/crucifix which sounds OK but doesn't read as well; reference to slave and free and serve make a muddle of the concept. - I know what you mean but freed/bought/accept servitude/serve a king are all rather close together in the lyric and rub against each other uncomfortably.
The image of holding his hand is fine but it's preceded by man - the image better suits child.
The melody is cool and the grainy countrified voice works well.

I'm renewed and saved today,
Once a slave to sinful things,
That old life has passed away,
For now I serve the King of Kings from slave to servitude?

I'm bought with blood and firm I'll stand, This reinforces the slave status
I'm not the man I used to be,
I'm holding to His nail scared hand, wrist?. child like image
Jesus made a change in me.

Bridge)
He shed his precious blood,
To save a wretch like me,
His mercy knows no bounds,
By His grace we're free! we should be me throughout

(Chorus)
Though we don't deserve the love,
He poured out at Calvary,
Where He made our sin His own, our?
Where we nailed Him to that tree. WE? tree?
He cried "forgive them Father please,
For they know not what they do"
there our debt was paid in full, Our?
And He gave us life anew! us?

Lamb of God slain for my sin,
you bore it all as yours to pay,
Now I've been washed and born again,
I'll strive to walk the narrow way.

Let everything i do and say
Help lead others to your door
Lord I pray you'll light my way,
Until I reach the golden shore

(Bridge)
(Chorus twice)
Click to expand...

Thank for your listen and comments rayc. I appreciate it. Let me start by saying that this is a work in progress lyrically. Let me address the "I" of the verse and the "we" in the chorus.
The overview is that I'm telling the listener that my life has been changed ...I'm still a servant but I serve God instead of Satan. What changed it? That's where the bridge comes in: he shed his blood for a sinner like me...His mercy knows no bounds and by His grace we're (all who choose Him as Lord) free (from sin of which the wages are death)
Although...
We don't deserve the love He poured out at Calvary (he died for all mankind)
Where He made our sin His own (He took upon Himself all the sins of mankind..the Bible said He became sin)

Where we (the entire fallen human race) nailed Him to that tree (tree is an age old word used to describe the cross of Christ...it's used in 100's of hymns and rhymes with Calvary)

The next line is a paraphrased quote of Jesus on the cross "Father please forgive them for the know not what they do"
Our debt He paid in full (the wages of sin is death and He was sinless and was executed in our place. Debt paid in full)
He gave us life anew. (Born again in Christ).
I'm very thankful for your post. It's shown me that I need to do a better job, lyrically, of explaining things in this song that have been engrained into me all my life but are all Greek to someone else. I have a tendency to preach to the choir ...forgetting that most people aren't in the choir.
Also the phrase holding to His nail scarred hand....led by His nail pierced hand...Jesus hold my hand and so on is, like "Calvarys tree", used in 100's of hymns and basically means to be guided by and be totally dependent on Jesus Christ as Lord and savior of your life.
 
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Okay, I haven't read all of the other posts in this thread, just the first two or three, so I don't know if you posted any music to go with it, or if my comments are echoing anything said by anyone else.

The title is "My Life Is Anew in Christ" and the lyrics focus on Christ, which is fine for a Gospel song-- but if the song is about your life and how it's been made anew, then I'd like to hear more lyrics about your old life and how things are so much better now. Granted, if the song is to appeal to a general audience then you don't want it to be specific to you, because you want everyone listening to it to be able to relate to it and find something hopeful and inspiring and uplifting in it. So I'm wondering if you could modify or add to the lyrics to vaguely list what your old life was like before, and how it's better now in Christ. Examples: I used to drink to excess... I used to do drugs... I used to steal... I used to covet my neighbor's wife... I used to beat my dog... I used to scream at my children... whatever-- it doesn't need to be about you specifically, more something of a general nature that a goodly percentage of the population might see themselves in and feel (1) ashamed/embarrassed at seeing themselves reflected in the lyrics yet (2) inspired and motivated at hearing how being made anew in Christ turned all of that around for the singer.
 
Thanks for you input SeaGtGruff. Very good suggestions. I'm still working on the lyric and u will definitely keep them in mind.
 
After reading rayc's comments, thinking about it, responding, and thinking some more...
I have come to the conclusion that the bridge needs to be re written. It's dead space lyrically speaking. The bridge is where the transition from "I" to "we" should be made and the bridge, as written, isn't doing that.
I may need to use "I" in the chorus in the long run, but I didn't want the song to be self centered and all about me. I wanted the song to be more about what Christ did for all of us while also saying I claim Him as my Lord and Savior.
Also, I need to explain that while Christian's are servents to Christ they are free from sins grip and the coming judgment of God. Rayc was right about slave, free, and serve being a bit muddled...especially to someone who isn't well versed in the Gospel.
Not an easy write in a 3 minute song but I'm still working on it.
 
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You might want to listen to these various renderings of another fairly new song, "The Salvation Poem."

Regarding the FIRST link: I do some media work for The Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Wisconsin and the author of the song asked a talented priest he knows to record it in the acoustically pleasant Shrine Church. The video is now a standard on Catholic cable EWTN and we get so many requests for it that we re-mastered the audio from video and have 1,000 copies as CD singles. The priest, BTW, runs an orphanage near Lima, Peru and some of the sales of the CD will go to keep it running. When the priest who built it many years ago died about six years ago, the entire city of Lima turned out and his casket was carried through the city with 1000's of mourners, marching bands (!), and people taking turns carrying the casket, including some of his first orphans, now well into middle age.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ue6QR5QdvPk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjveJPHZ7XM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQd1CzR061c

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBR4rFJi9Rk

Uncomplicated lyrics and a variety of treatments of the same basic song.
 
jimistone said:
After reading rayc's comments, thinking about it, responding, and thinking some more...
I have come to the conclusion that the bridge needs to be re written. It's dead space lyrically speaking. The bridge is where the transition from "I" to "we" should be made and the bridge, as written, isn't doing that.
I may need to use "I" in the chorus in the long run, but I didn't want the song to be self centered and all about me. I wanted the song to be more about what Christ did for all of us while also saying I claim Him as my Lord and Savior.
Also, I need to explain that while Christian's are servents to Christ they are free from sins grip and the coming judgment of God. Rayc was right about slave, free, and serve being a bit muddled...especially to someone who isn't well versed in the Gospel.
Not an easy write in a 3 minute song but I'm still working on it.
Click to expand...

I write non-fiction books and how to's but not lyrics. My humble opinion is that you are trying so say too much in one song. Look at some of the classic and contemporary religious music and see what sticks in your head, and can be sung by others easily.

Praise lyrics and what I might call "testimony" lyrics are two different animals. Look at the lyrics from "Amazing Grace" for testimony in few words. An old example of "praise" might be "How Great Thou Art." Both have fairly simple lines.

I read an article close to 50 years back on why musical trends grow, fade and are replaced. The author said that, in the beginning, "it's got a beat and you can dance to it" and is popular. Then the band/writers get bored or dig deeper into their craft. So people stop dancing and sit and listen. And then something new comes along "it's got a beat and you can dance to it." Using an old example, look at the Beatles's early work compared to the "White Album" or even Sgt. Pepper.

So making lyrics fairly simple and perhaps a bit more curtailed than planned may not be a bad thing.
 
Thanks radiOjOhn.
Great suggestions. I decided to put the entire song in the 1st person. Like a conversation between me and Jesus and basically thanking Him for what He did and telling Him i don't understand how he can love unconditionally.

The lyric on the chorus is good with the slight changes from the "we" to "I" narrative. Also the first line will be changed to "I don't understand the love You poured out at Calvary".
The verses are somewhat shallow lyrically and built upon old cliches from Christian hymns. I'm working on the verses and I will record it in earnest when the lyric is finished
 
Just sifting through he comments and the only point that I would mention is the tree. Crucifix would be my preference but the delivery is a little tougher. I don't know - maybe the cross would be easiest. And I hate singing the word "I" - it seems to suck all the wind out of me unless I chop it short. Damn vowels....
 
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