Edge of History- Help needed

C

Crycookie

New member
Hello Everybody,

Here a song I wrote few years ago and I would like some feedback and help on the guitar parts if possible. the acoustic guitar on the right is bit sloppy as I did it with bar chords and my little hands are not the more powerful someone could have.

Eventually the arrangement on the electric guitar could be improved during the song, if anyone would like to have a try I will much appreciate it, I'm working on improving my techniques but still not yet there.

For the vocals I had a bit of a cold so there is some pitching issues at times and I will have to do it again.

The bass was done with my keyboard but I would like to do it with a proper bass if someone would like to try and experiment that would be awesome.

I can provide the track(wav or AIFF) without bass and guitars

Anyhow thank you in advance for your feedback and support much appreciated

https://soundcloud.com/crycookie/edge-of-history-rough-mix
 
I didn't have a problem with the instrumentals. The vocal seemed to ramble a little bit. I was looking for it to build toward some kind of hook that never really came. The song could benefit from a more conventional structure, with verse, chorus, etc.
 
Hi Robus,

Thank you for your feedback always much appreciated.

I totally agree with you on the hook part, I thought about the chorus part during the recording process but the song would have been too long so I left as it was. I was thinking that a nice guitar arrangement ,guitar riff could help the song in that way. I tried few things but I was not happy about it, so I was looking for outside inspiration :)

Regarding the vocals I will definitely do another take but I'm not sure what you mean by rambling, should I re-write the lyrics or I'm behind the tempo?
 
If it were mine, I actually would revise the song. I do think your delivery is off the groove as well. There is a definite swing to that strummed acoustic part, which I think defines the song.

I didn't think the electric guitar solos were bad at all. I would offer to track a guitar solo for you, but some things going on in my life right now make that impossible. Maybe in the future if you are interested.
 
I do understand where you're coming from though with the idea of revising the song, I tried it when I recorded it, but the way I wrote the song does not allow it and I would like to keep the lyrics as they are. I will do another take on the vocals with the groove in mind and see if I can come up with something to improve it somehow.

I appreciate your offer Robus for the guitar track,we can do it at a better time no worries, I'll be very honored to have your guitar track in one of my songs :) I really do think you are a very talented guitar player and composer, you have a unique touch with tone and arrangements that make your songs very unique and appealing.


Thanks a lot Robus
 
Hello Crycookie.

I thought I would return the favour

I echo what Robus said really. I think the instrumentals are lovely and the guitar parts were well played/nice sounding. I wish I could get my songs sounding as nice and well put together.

As for the vocals I think they were slightly off the groove and if you retake and try to get them moving with the song more you might find that you need to cut or add some to the lyrics as you go. Nothing drastic. It may be that you could even change a word (same meaning different word is what I mean...) if it helps the lyrics tie into the music more. It's a nice track and I enjoyed the listen

Keep at it :) well done
 
Thank you very much Darren for your feedback, greatly appreciated, sometimes you know that you need to change something but don't want to compromise and feedbacks helps to sit the dueling and move forward. Will post a new version in the coming weeks.

Thanks a lot again :)
 
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