Altrock ballad that I'm writing. Need feedback.

M

MANnequin X

New member
I want to make this better yet. Is it good? What improvement does it need? Vocals? Somebody told me the drums weren't good, but they are the only part I did not write. Am I writing music to the drums incorrectly? I'm trying to figure out why the chorus part of this song(the part I'm wanting feedback for) isn't the hit that I thought it would be with people I've showed it to so far. Thanks?
 

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  • JIXXT001_0.mp3
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This could be a decent song but you're not there yet. The drum mix is a bit of a mess. I'm hearing mostly kick and floppy-sounding toms and vibrations. Your snare is low and isn't driving the song, so the groove feels hesitant. The guitars are dominating everything. It's not a great guitar sound, but might work depending on the mix. When did they pass the law that says all rhythm guitars must be doubled, opposite panned, and too loud? Often guitars sound more powerful when they are lower in the mix, not louder. Try it. And the timing could be better. Once you get your drum mix solid, you mind find your timing on guitar improves. Vocals are pitchy but that is accepted in some genres.

Push on and finish the song.
 
I took the drum track from a professional Youtube video. So the drums are badly timed? As in don't follow the rhythm the song should have? Also, how pitchy are the vocals? I know there is one part at the end when I say "your wrath" that is flat, but that jumped out at me when listening for pitchiness. I couldn't hear anything else very easily. But there is no pitchiness allowed here in this genre. That has ruined my music's acceptance by audiences for years and I'm trying to get known and get into the scene. I pitch corrected my vocals then practiced them and sang what the pitch corrector sounded like, but it's got to be near-perfect as far as pitch goes. I don't make my own drums and don't have any way to do that right now. The drums are a single track. Thanks!
 
I didn't notice that the drums were poorly timed, more that the guitar wasn't locked in to the drums as tight as it might be. The excessive level of your guitars, and the absence of other instruments in your arrangement, is making it more noticeable. Take the guitars down in level a few notches. Personally I thought your snare was too low. If you could raise it, you would feel the groove better as you track your guitar. But since you can't adjust the drum mix, I guess it is what it is. Have you thought about trying a drum VST like Easydrummer, Superior Drummer, Addictive Drums, Steven Slate Drums, etc.? They will give you more control than a Youtube track and sound better too. Youtube is compressed and lossy. It's not a good source for drum tracks if you want produce a quality recording. I think it is the flat part you mentioned that I noticed. Nobody's pitch is perfect, nor need it be in my opinion. The whole tradition of jazz and blues singing is based on playing off the pitch, as is a lot of rock singing. And that's just my limited knowledge of musical genres. Overuse of pitch correction has created a new genre never before heard by human ears. It's a fine line. Tasteful use of correction can make a mediocre singer sound a bit better. That's my hope anyway! :thumbs up: Overdo it and you sound like Cher.

Again, I would recommend that you finish the composition before you invest too much time in polishing what you have.
 
Cool. Thank you. I appreciate it immensely. I actually have a version with bass and slightly lower guitars with somewhat autotuned vocals. But someone said the vocals were "off", even with the pitch correction I used.
 
View attachment OLYST001.mp3OK. I attached a new version of the song so far. Listen to the vocals and tell me if they sound off. SOmebody told me the vocals in this version sound "off". And I pitch corrected them. he drum probably doesn't sound any better. But I did dd some bass this time also, though poorly mixed.
 
I didn't listen to the song, but going by your comments, if the vocals are autotuned and they sound off, check that you are tuning them to the right key. If you don't tell autotune what the key is, it will just center it to the closest pitch. Therefore, if the vocal is out of key, and autotune hasn't been given the key to tune too, then you are still out of key.

Try running autotune on your bass or some single note instrument too find the key. Once you determine the key, then set autotune to that key. Then go back and sing it again in the correct key. See if that doesn't help your tuning a little bit.

Hope this helps you get what you are going for.
 
I already tuned it to the right key. He said it was "off", not out of tune. That's why I'm here. To seewhat others think he might have meant.
 
Overall the second mix is better but the vocal still needs alot of work.

It sounds like you are moving around alot so there are varying levels and some areas are mumbled.

I would forget autotune, polish the performance first, work on breathing, mic technique (use a pop screen and keep your head still) and break the song into sections.

As a by the way are you singing "the sheep will run from me"? cos that has a different meaning in Scotland :)

Cheers
 
There's nothing wrong with the vocal--it's that kind of song. Just automate some of the areas where the level drops off. Sure, the snare is a little thin, but it's a marked improvement from where you started. The bottom end is actually pretty good. Isn't it fun fun fun to do that, wring a good tune out of a maybe unpromising start?
 
Dude. Soundcloud sucks. I got 2 plays in a week and the one like I got was withdrawn---plus it seems there are only a bunch of fake robots on there. Some people don't even have music uploaded. I can't trust it.
 
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