not as robotic and soulless? vox critique welcome

[besthellbunny]

Hi guys

I have a newer original track up for critique https://soundcloud.com/besthellbunny/first-vocal-idea-for-doom-patrol-symphony if you could please check it out.

I keep practicing and I think I am almost getting used to hearing my voice, and starting to get into actually feeling the song versus being so locked into trying to get words out on time, which made me seem rigid on some previous recordings (per feedback on some older tracks I have recorded).

I realize I am still pretty pitchy here and there, but, be honest, is this totally unbearable- or is it "a'ight"? Wondering if I should keep re-recording this for a while...give up... or if is an okay rough demo worthy of at not embarrassing the heck out of myself if I share ideas with musical friends.

Thanks for checking it out.

 

[BroKen_H]

Very hard to listen to the first verse. The hissy synth in the background is killing your vocal. When the pre and chorus hit and it goes away, it gets easier to hear. Some of the notes sound like they must be wrong (do not fit the scale of the chords being played). If this is correct, I would question the songwriting. If not, I would keep trying to track your vocal to get the right notes. I didn't make it to the end of the song (not my cup of tea), so that's all I got.

 

[kola490p]

The biggest killer for me is that your vocals are a half pitch sharp the entire song. If you can sing in tune, I think it'd sound pretty good.

 

[polarity]

It almost sounds like the song and vocal are in different keys... Maybe not, I can't exactly place what's wrong with it, but I couldn't listen to much of it.