The wife/girlfriend who hates your band/project.....

dreib said:
.... his wife dictating his schedule.
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Well...."wife" changes the entire paradigm as opposed to "girlfriend".
She's obviously not seeing much value in your "little project" and if she's going to hold the computer hostage to prevent him from taking part in it if it deviates from hers or their shcedule...that shit is something he needs to work out, 'cuz I doubt he's going to dump a "wife" for the sake of the "little project".

You...the band...need to have a straight-up talk with him and your goals, and then he needs to sort it out with the "wife"...and yeah, don't make such a big deal about if if it's just a "vanity project" and not a serious touring/recording gig where there's money on the line. I mean, there's no need to turn it into a pissing match and have your friend stop being your friend or divorcing his wife over it. :D
 
You either have to settle for the situation or you have to kick him out. Expecting him to put his wife/family/job behind the band is incredibly stupid.

Bands should be like a business. Would you put up with someone who had a wife saying "yeah no I can't wash the tables because wife says it's pointless." You would handle your fucking business in that situation wouldn't you?


But you won't, so I don't see the point of this thread. The only answer to your problem is to either shut the fuck up and take it like a bitch or kick him the fuck out.
 
Guitargodgt said:
You either have to settle for the situation or you have to kick him out. Expecting him to put his wife/family/job behind the band is incredibly stupid.

Bands should be like a business. Would you put up with someone who had a wife saying "yeah no I can't wash the tables because wife says it's pointless." You would handle your fucking business in that situation wouldn't you?


But you won't, so I don't see the point of this thread. The only answer to your problem is to either shut the fuck up and take it like a bitch or kick him the fuck out.
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If you dont see the point of the thread why are you posting a response?...Never mind it doesnt matter.

Ive decided to relax. If I send a mix and have to wait 3 days for a response, I guess I have to wait.
Thank you for your fuckin input. LOL
 
Guitargodgt said:
But you won't, so I don't see the point of this thread. The only answer to your problem is to either shut the fuck up and take it like a bitch or kick him the fuck out.
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:laughings: :laughings: :laughings: :laughings:


A band, let alone a silly little recording project, is never as important as real life shit like spouses, families, jobs, etc.
 
1) Go to Viktoria's Secret and buy a tiny pair of panties - something for a very very petite woman.

2) Cruise over to your guitar player's house when nobody is there and put it in the pool filter. Or if you're really bad, hide them under their bed or couch.

3) Wipe hands on pants and watch the drama unfold.


This is technically a recording technique.
 
You mention that the girlfriend won't let you all use the computer - I assume its the guitarist's computer that has your recording software/project on it? Well obviously you have a computer (unless you are posting from the library or work), so move the project to another computer. Or go buy a laptop for $500, it'll serve the purpose for now.
 
supercreep has some good ideas.


Another is maybe you could get a woman of your own so you have other things, and people, to do.
 
Yea, the one that sits at the back of the venue reading a book and blocking out your sound because she's listening to taylor swift on her ipod?...
 
dreib said:
Well Ive been friends with this guy since grade school ,along with the bass player, and our little project is to record most of the songs we wrote and recorded way back in junior high and high school, we.ve been talking about doing it for years and now we are attempting to do it.
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Does this mean you are not in a band with him anymore since high school? If not, then it's really not a big problem. Recording projects can take all the time in the world. She'll let him out sooner or later and then you'll make progress.

I've lost a wife and several girlfriends over the years because they got so frustrated that they couldn't control me. They tried to get me to quit the bands, but I refused, sighting that "I was in a band when you met me and I'll be in a band when I die. Don't try to change that." But then, it really wasn't about the bands...

Some women just have a need to be controlling. They think they are smarter and more mature than all men. They treat their husband's like small children. But me, I wouldn't stand for that shit. Not when there are good women out there who will support there man's interests. There are too many good women in this world to put up with a bad one everyday. Life is too short to not enjoy it.
 
RawDepth said:
I've lost a wife and several girlfriends over the years because they got so frustrated that they couldn't control me. They tried to get me to quit the bands, but I refused, sighting that "I was in a band when you met me and I'll be in a band when I die. Don't try to change that." But then, it really wasn't about the bands...
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You hit the nail on the head.
There's nothing you can do about this guitar player's wife, they are already involved.
But my wife and I have had an understanding from the beginning.
I get a certain amount (a lot) of time all to myself to use as I please.
That is just part of having a mature relationship, we live with each other, we don't own each other.
 
I am still trying to work out how the words "The wife" and "pussy whipped" ended up in the same place? Usually the Pussy Whipping stops after the wedding cake is eaten.

Seriously if a partner does not support what you do give up now as it will only fester later. If a band members partner does not give them the freedom to be part of the band, look for a replacement.

You know the old saying "A woman wants to meet the perfect man, so she can change them into the man she actually wants".

Alan.
 
Just rehearse a three hour rendition of the appropriate SOD song until he gets the point, grows a pair, or quits the band.

THE END.com™
 
We need to see a photo of her.

The Gerg is right, though. Family comes first......and way before your band or your project.

This is something that your buddy needs to resolve on his own.
 
Ok ...I have the project on my computer, he does not have one, his wife does, but its hers, he cant use it for "band shit" He can use it to check email etc. He can only buy his own if he sells some of his gear to purchase it.

I made this thread because I was just pissed that I sent him some mixes and hadnt heard back, well it turns out he was waiting for his turn? Of course im like WTF, it would take 10 min maybe max to listen and shoot me a text on what he thinks, adjustments etc. I freakin hate waiting!

I get the whole family first thing Im married, kids and am lucky to have a very supportive family. I did not mean for this to turn into she's a bitch, im a fuckin whatever that dip shit from NY said...blah blah blah.

I realize it is what it is, I laughed at the situation and was hoping by posting this I would get a good laugh because I know pretty much all of you guys have seen this and been thru it.
I found it pretty funny that here I am not really even in a real band and aproaching my 40's and I still gotta deal with the same old stuff all over again.....so is life I suppose.

Its all good , we can drop it now.
 
I've got the perfect situation. My wife supports and encourages everything I do musically, she's just not really interested in it. She might come to one out of every 5 or 10 gigs I do. I don't need her to like my music, and she doesn't feel the need to be clingy and possessive or keep tabs on me, so it's awesome.
 
dreib said:
Ok ...I have the project on my computer, he does not have one, his wife does, but its hers, he cant use it for "band shit" He can use it to check email etc. He can only buy his own if he sells some of his gear to purchase it.
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What a whimp! all he needs is a computer of his own, tell him to go out and buy one, what are we talking about here $500.

Of course if he is a real Whimp he could convince the wife she needs a new computer, buy her a new one and the deal he gives her is that he gets the old one. This works.

Alan.
 
dreib said:
Ok ...I have the project on my computer, he does not have one, his wife does, but its hers, he cant use it for "band shit" He can use it to check email etc. He can only buy his own if he sells some of his gear to purchase it....



......and aproaching my 40's and I still gotta deal with the same old stuff all over again.
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:facepalm:

You guys are pushing 40 and his wife treats him like a child?!?!
Well, maybe he deserves it...or not...but man, when you mentioned high-school buddies, I thought maybe you guys were in your early 20's or something.

Damn...if he's got that kind of shit going on approaching 40, needing his wife's permission to use HER computer or else....mmmmmm...well, I just know I wouldn't put up with that.

Actually...I never did! :D
 
dreib said:
Ok ...I have the project on my computer, he does not have one, his wife does, but its hers, he cant use it for "band shit" He can use it to check email etc. He can only buy his own if he sells some of his gear to purchase it.

I made this thread because I was just pissed that I sent him some mixes and hadnt heard back, well it turns out he was waiting for his turn? Of course im like WTF, it would take 10 min maybe max to listen and shoot me a text on what he thinks, adjustments etc. I freakin hate waiting!
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WTF is right.
My wife and I both work hard and we each have our own computers.
It might be easier to have him just use your computer.
Good luck.
 
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