Sun sets on the Sea

Stratomaster

Stratomaster

Active member
Greetings all. Been working on this song for the last two weeks or so, i haven't been happy with my vocals or the mix in general. Today i went and laid down a few vocal tracks, and did a quick mix and i think it's sounding pretty good, let me know what you think could be improved. My first impression is that the slide guitar could come up a bit and the vocals could sit better in certain places. The vocal track is 3 different takes run to a bus with a compressor and eq, i probably need to get more detailed with the volume control on the vocals....

This song is a collaboration between me and my brother. He sent me this excellent set of lyrics which i will share with you all. The song is called "Sun sets on the Sea"

Thanks for your time and any comments you might have.

Strat

He traveled by horse through fields of green
Till he reached the sands of Aberdeen
A man distraught in search of peace
From his past, trying to be released

A darker time lies in his wake
Was his whole life, one big mistake?
A man of stature, held in high regard
He hates this life wants to just discard

All the men at his command
All Those that work upon his lands
Just a man he wants to be
Go where the Sun sets on the sea


He never wanted any of this
He wanted his own time
But his destiny, it was not his
He was born of the bloodline
Just a man he seeks to be
Fled by night
To where
the Sun sets on the sea


He steps down from his horse
Thrust his sword into the sand
No longer will I lead this life
Just myself I will command

The years went by the man grew old
They found him stiff, his body cold
He became the man he wanted to be
As he left this world
Where the sun sets on the sea


Sun Sets On The Sea by NovaBasa | Nova Basa | Free Listening on SoundCloud

New version up a whole step....

Sun Sets On The Sea (3) by NovaBasa | Nova Basa | Free Listening on SoundCloud
 
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I'm new here, so I don't want to overstep my newbie bounds, but here are my thoughts. The music's fantastic. Everything's well mixed and fits the space well. Great musicianship. EQ seems fine. My only "issue" with this song is that you seem a little "bored" with the vocals. I'd like to hear you get into the song. You know? Sing it with feeling. I know it's a subdued tune, but it seems a little monotone in the vox. Close your eyes and get in a space and just sing with your feelings. Throw a few harmonies in the chorus to flesh it out.

Otherwise, it's a great tune.
 
Can't you sing the verse up the next octave? It's really low in pitch, hard to understand, and comes out monotone, like Nerve said. I'd def consider singing it higher up. Same notes, higher pitch. Music sounds really good. At 2:36, it's really flowing along and moving nicely. It's the vocal performance that needs a lift. My opinion, of course
 
Sounds pretty good. I'm hearing a little bit of mud around the lead vocal when it hits notes in the lower register. I'd work on getting a little more clarity and separation around that vocal. Nice arrangement! What drums are you using?
 
Hey guys thanks for your time and honest input!

Nervebag-Welcome and there is no overstepping of bounds, as long as you're giving your honest input it is much appreciated by me. I certainly have no problems making criticisms of songs and recordings that i believe are higher quality than my own...Yes i believe you are correct in your assessment of the vocals-i don't consider myself a singer by any stretch, the vocal range i was using here is at the very bottom of my range and i was more concerned with hitting the notes than making an emotional impact and it shows. I have a plan to re-record the song a whole step up which i hope will remedy the problem, partly...Thanks.

Andrushkiwt-Thanks for your time and input, i'm glad to see this general agreement about the vocals-i did try them an octave up but it sounded pretty feminine to me-i did capo up two frets and i think this might be a solution-i'm going to re record this song today and will repost when i have something listenable. Thanks!

Robus-Thanks for your time and input-as i've mentioned the low notes in this tune were at the very bottom of my range, today i even sped the music up by a few % points to help hit those notes but seeing these comments has inspired me to try to move the pitch of the song up into a more comfortable vocal range, i think it will make for a better vocal track at least. The drums are addictive drums-the retro blue oyster kit i mentioned to you, the clean blue oyster 22" kick preset to be exact-this is my go to kit, though there's others i like as well. Drum part played on a cheap yamaha midi kit. Thanks!

bouldersoundguy-thanks for the input-yes i was already boosting a bit in that range, 2db at 3.3 k to be exact and another boost in the air range around 16k. I will experiment more within that range when i re record the vocal. Thanks for the ears!
 
As the planet's worst singer myself, I feel your pain. That's why I do so many vocal layers -- to cover up all the missed notes. LOL! Upgrading to Cubase 9.5 got me a new (for me) "autotune-like" feature. It let me be a little more free in my vocals, knowing I could fix any minor note misses in post. Once I really get the hang of it, I think that will be huge. Look forward to hearing the next version! It is a great tune.
 
Stratomaster said:
Andrushkiwt-Thanks for your time and input, i'm glad to see this general agreement about the vocals-i did try them an octave up but it sounded pretty feminine to me-i did capo up two frets and i think this might be a solution-i'm going to re record this song today and will repost when i have something listenable. Thanks!
Click to expand...

...and that's part of the goal of working on your songcraft. Putting the vocal in an area of your voice that's comfortable, yet impactful. If you have to rework the vocal melody, so be it. You're hitting lots of notes that drift waaaaay down where you obviously aren't comfortable. You can hit the first several notes of the verse up an octave, I know you can. If you were to continue the verse that way, yes, some notes in there would be too high, and that's where reworking the melody comes into play. But as it is, you're doing Johnny Cash notes when they are out of reach.
 
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