Rise of the Temple

DM60

DM60

Well-known member
OK, since I was encouraged by my last MP3 post, here is one I have been sitting on to get it as good as I could before posting.

This one is very short. I have a DI bass, an acoustic, a Drum pack I created that was made from plastic trash can, guitar case and a seat cushion.

Rest are vocals, claps and finger snaps. I am sure it needs something fixed, but I can no longer find it.



In case the link doesn't work: https://soundcloud.com/dm60/rise-of-the-temple-1

I won't post all of my songs, only the ones that require an extra set of ears. I do appreciate everyone's time.

Thanks for listening.

Update based on comments:


and link: https://soundcloud.com/dm60/rise-of-the-temple-2
 
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That soundcloud link don't appear to work

Edit...maybe it's me. I can't get the embedded player to work in any thread...
 
I added the link. I will be honest, the embedded link takes away the counter, which helps when you want to point at a specific problem at a certain point.
 
The only thing I can hear that's missing (to me) is high end. I can hear something that sounds like a tamb in the background, but you don't list one in the list above. If it is, it could be louder since you have no hats or cymbals. The vocals could use some "air" to help fill that gap as well. I don't think they're dark, but they sound semi dark as there's nothing up there to offset...
Enjoyed the song, man!
 
You are right, nothing on the high end. I think this one is a difficult as the intent was to be simple. I will mess with it and see if it changes it too much adding in some high end sound to the song.
 
so.... i really like this, and the main criticism here is that the lead vocal, to me, should be rather big and powerful given the subject/lyrics/tone. i'd consider making the lead more upfront and let those background vocals stay where they are. this sounds really real and visceral, dark and jangly. great tone all around and incredibly thoughtful use for percussion.

second listen... i think there's a particular bass/kick sound that similar sounding artists use. it's a huge/deep/rounded sound. one of those bass drums you don't kick, but smack like a damn gong... lol. it's rather popular in indie tunes the last 10 years or so. i think that would help on the kick hits. it's like an ancient Roman gigantic bass. is this making any sense? ha

is this your vocal? great vocal tone. really really good, nice inflections and pitch control. DM, i really think this is great dude. listened several times.

do you have room for this in your house? lol

http://www.aaronniequist.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/tracking-bass-drum1.jpg
 
I thought this generally sounded pretty good. A couple of minor issues.

it's kind of an abrupt start. Maybe give a half-second at the beginning.

I thought the vocal was a little mid-rangey. Maybe a notch cut in the 2400hz - 2700hz range. You might also want to compress it a little harder. Words at the end of phrases get lost in the mix every once in a while.

The BGV's are competing with the guitar a little bit. I can hear each one when the other is silent. But when they're both making sound, they're competing.

Other than that I thought it sounded pretty good.

Cool vibe to it.
 
Thanks TM and Andrush! That is why I posted this, I knew a few more ears could help make this even better. I will give these suggestion a go in a couple of days and post a new mix. Really appreciate the comments and the help in raising this up a few more notches.

Great feedback everyone.
 
You had me at "trash can". :D

This was good.
My only nits are +1 for the start being really abrupt, and I would pan some of the vocals closer to center. On headphones, the hard-panned BGvox don't sound like they're in a realistic space.
 
This is great DM, it's like some kind of old style chaingang tune. All the vocal layers sound really good and come together nicely. Maybe the main vocal could come up a touch as it really drives the song.

It may also be a cool addition to find some clanging metal thing to bring in at some point and hit on each beat - might add some higher end sounds to the mix.
 
robgreen said:
This is great DM, it's like some kind of old style chaingang tune. All the vocal layers sound really good and come together nicely. Maybe the main vocal could come up a touch as it really drives the song.

It may also be a cool addition to find some clanging metal thing to bring in at some point and hit on each beat - might add some higher end sounds to the mix.
Click to expand...
Great idea. Since I am getting the sounds myself, I have to look for either chains or something that would emulate that. I never thought of the chain-gang feel. Old timey, yes, but I like that. Thanks.
 
VomitHatSteve said:
You had me at "trash can". :D

This was good.
My only nits are +1 for the start being really abrupt, and I would pan some of the vocals closer to center. On headphones, the hard-panned BGvox don't sound like they're in a realistic space.
Click to expand...

Yes, this runs true on many of my songs that they start too quick. I get a two measure count in when recording and just start, which means everything just hits. I was trying to remember to give some lead in, forgot on this one. That for sure will get fixed.

I didn't even check this on the headphones. Most of the times if it sounds good on speakers, HPs are usually no issue. Thanks for point that out, I will take another listen and get that sorted out a little better. But I do have a lot of vocals, so maybe reduce the spread might work.
 
I really like this. I don't think that it starts too abruptly given the topic of the song. An abrupt beginning is what the song needs. As person who used to be a believer and wrote christian songs and played in christian bands, the sudden beginning to the song is a great device to illustrate the very abrupt return of Jesus spoken of in the scriptures. I like the sound of the song and the sort of front porch feeling that it has. Great job.
 
Illsidgus said:
I really like this. I don't think that it starts too abruptly given the topic of the song. An abrupt beginning is what the song needs. As person who used to be a believer and wrote christian songs and played in christian bands, the sudden beginning to the song is a great device to illustrate the very abrupt return of Jesus spoken of in the scriptures. I like the sound of the song and the sort of front porch feeling that it has. Great job.
Click to expand...

Thanks. I think what is meant is, some blank space before the song starts. At least that is the way I took it. Right now, there is nothing but, GO! ;)
 
Very cool piece. I agree the lead vocal should be just a tad more upfront, and was a little mid-range strong. I had no issues with where the BG vocals were panned, but bringing them in a tad more to center might sound a little better, so they won't clash with the rhythm guitars as much. Cool vibe and the acoustic sounded nice and "airy", in a good way.

The "drum" sound gave it a very unique vibe that I can't quite find the word for, but it worked very well. Very tribal (maybe that's the word). I dug it.

A quick two-count acoustic "E" chord at the beginning before the vocals start would also fix the abrupt start. I wouldn't make it major or minor, just a straight "E" with the G string muted. But that's just my take. Still, awesome job.
 
OK, updated this to:
Brought vocals a bit more upfron
Tamed 200 region
Brought the tambourine up (I already had it, just really low), I think that gives it a chain sound
Brought the vocals in a little closer to the center
Added some lead in



I think that is was most of the comments. I appreciate everyone's input. If you can listen one more time make sure I didn't break anything.
 
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I think the lead vocal sits better here. Commands more attention that the rest. There's so many other vocals going, it got a little lost before. Works nicely now. I like the changes overall. :thumbs up:
 
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