Perfect Strangers

reshp1

reshp1

New member
Not sure if this belongs here or the songwriting forum, but here's a song I wrote as a going away gift for my girlfriend who is going off to grad school this fall.



Mostly looking for suggestions on songwriting, arrangement, etc., not so much the mix/performance 'cause I know I need work on that (especially the vox :( )

Thanks for the listen.
 
The song conveys sorrow of lost love. Any suggestion I'd give would feel out of place to me. So I'm just listening.

Tim
 
Turn the hi hats down, too loud.

Try compressing the kit with the "Pump" preset on your BF76, then add some nice room reverb, that would sound nice.

And most important, you need to compress the vocals alot more and turn it up in the mix.

Not once did it feel like the vocal was "there".

And for a song like this, it needs to be.
 
Great song! I would like to read the lyrics though. Could you post them?

You have a good voice, and I really liked the guitar.

I think the sadness you were feeling as you sang this, made it difficult for you to
tighten up on the vocals. It is inaudible, with the quietness of your voice, and some shakiness too. But, Hey, It IS hard to sing when melocholy rules.

It is a heartfelt song, and I think you have a winner here.

You might consider, bringing all that emotion into a tight spot within you, and allow it to be projected, in an out-front heart ripping melodic vocal.
You have the voice for it. :)
 
I think the keyboard pad is distracting - in fact I'm not psyched about it at all. With all the technicolor guitar tones at your disposal, why not just pad with some mellow guitar? Or use an ebow...

Piano might work better for conveying emotions through dynamics than an organ patch.

just my $.02. I like this song. It reminds me of Pink Floyd and a bit of 10000 Maniacs. I don't think the vocals are terrible - but I'd want to punch in a few spots where you're a bit pitchy.

Nice work, man!

-Casey
 
Thanks all for the kind words and critiques

True the lyrics are:

Twilight echos silent
Ushers in another...
Day that brings us closer to the end

What were distant rumblings
Are now upon our doorstep
Won't be long 'til we are torn apart
And thrown adrift.

(pre-chorus)
But I do not worry
I have no fear
I am not burdened
By thoughts of despair

(chorus)
I found you once, I will find you again
If it takes a thousand years from now until then
When all that was once lost will be found again
A day when the broken hearted can mend

(verse)
If time erases memory
Of each moment we've shared
Until we are perfect strangers then....
We'll start again

(pre-chorus)
I do not worry
I have no doubt
I have no intention
Of living without you.

Chorus..

I've since decided to change the third line in the chorus from "What was once lost will be found again" to "what was wronged will be right in the end" after it was brought to my attention that it was a subconscious yet blatant rip-off of "Amazing Grace" (thanks Bennychico)

Finster,
I agree with the mix suggestions 100%. The vox were way buried especially in the verse.
 
Have you ever heard Todd Agnew's ...*Grace Like Rain*? You will find him in the Christian Artist section. This dude has a voice that is superb, and this song is a work of genius. He has taken Amazing Grace, and formated it in such a way, you almost forget, that it was based on that song. I will never think of AG in the same way again, and now have an awesome version to listen to.
And I will never view it as a rip-off, but a long needed overhaul! :D

Unless, there is some legal matter involved, I like the line. It isn't even the same line as in AG. How can it be a rip-off? I thought it took more than one line, to get in the hot water.?????

Anyway, those are great lyrics also.
Good luck with your music. :)
 
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