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Thread: Past Life I still couldn't sing

  1. #1
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    Past Life I still couldn't sing

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    You're more than welcome to talk about the really bad mix here. But, I'm really looking for the Snow problem question of "Is my vocal in key".

    I've melodyned it, and the backing vocals. But, I'd really like some great ears to tell me if there's anything that's still pitchy.

    While I truly want to know if any of the vocals are pitchy, the lead vocal is most important. That's what I'd be giving a real singer to learn from.

    Here's the lyrics to make it easier.

    Shelly brought to work
    A rubber dick in a bag
    Her beautiful smile
    Hid the fact she was sad
    Four mouths to feed
    A fifth on the way
    Absentee husband
    Tonight's the dildo's day

    Shelly worked security
    Though she was far from secure
    She found out the hard way
    Some illness has no cure

    Laura christaned her son
    Her lover by her side
    She worked slept and ate
    For the only man in her life
    Evil minds will say
    Laura signed the book
    Sealing her son's fate
    With a kiss of forbidden fruit

    Laura worked security
    Though she was far from secure
    She found out the hard way
    Some illness has no cure

    Virginia sat alone
    Cutting cuts she cut
    Virginia eats alone
    Everyone believes she's nuts
    George the punk rocker
    Wanted to live on top
    He had no talent
    All he had was a pension for shock
    Do they remember his unique stock
    Do they remember
    Like I remember

    Thanks in advance.


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    Personally, I can't take it seriously based on the lyrics. Sorry. Maybe someone else can.

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    Quote Originally Posted by andrushkiwt View Post
    Personally, I can't take it seriously based on the lyrics. Sorry. Maybe someone else can.
    At least it was constructive. I'll give you that.

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    Well i make no claim to my ears greatness to strangers but sure the vocal sounds in pitch to me, the melody is fairly simple and there were no outright clunkers, my ears are confident enough to tell me to type that. I like the verby sound and the simple mix, someone might just let this pass as a pleasant tune and not even notice that you mention "rubber dicks" and dildos. Seems like you could keep the subject matter the same without using the exact terminology and make it more of an inside joke (no pun intended). But it's your song and i think it's sounding good!
    "Hey man, am I drivin ok?" "You're stopped man"

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    Vocal sounds like it has pitch correction on it. Still, I think the vocal sounds good. Roll with it. Don't give it to someone else.

    I really like it other than saying the "Dildo" lines. Those are awful on the ear. It's not that it's x-rated, but rather just a harsh word for the ear to take.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Stratomaster View Post
    Well i make no claim to my ears greatness to strangers but sure the vocal sounds in pitch to me, the melody is fairly simple and there were no outright clunkers, my ears are confident enough to tell me to type that. I like the verby sound and the simple mix, someone might just let this pass as a pleasant tune and not even notice that you mention "rubber dicks" and dildos. Seems like you could keep the subject matter the same without using the exact terminology and make it more of an inside joke (no pun intended). But it's your song and i think it's sounding good!
    Quote Originally Posted by Nola View Post
    Vocal sounds like it has pitch correction on it. Still, I think the vocal sounds good. Roll with it. Don't give it to someone else.

    I really like it other than saying the "Dildo" lines. Those are awful on the ear. It's not that it's x-rated, but rather just a harsh word for the ear to take.
    THANK YOU BOTH. I've had enough A-Oks on the vocals to go with it. Yes, NOLA every syllable has pitch correction on it. I am tone deaf and FLAT (every note).

    This a true stories song, so the opening verse while bizarre is factual. Wonderful woman, such a shame. The kind of person whose smile made you feel good about human beings.

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    Shelley brought to work
    A rubber dick in a bag
    Her beautiful smile
    Hid the fact she was sad
    Four mouths to feed
    A fifth on the way
    An absentee husband
    & it's the dildo's day

    Shelley worked security
    Though she was far from secure
    She found out the hard way
    Some illnesses have no cure

    Laura christened her son
    With her lover by her side
    She worked, slept and ate
    For the only man in her life
    Evil minds will say
    Laura signed the book
    Sealing her son's fate
    With the kiss of forbidden fruit

    Laura worked security
    Though she was far from secure
    She found out the hard way
    Some illnesses have no cure

    Virginia sat alone
    Cutting: she cuts cuts
    Virginia eats alone
    Everyone thinks she's nuts

    George the punk rocker
    Wanted to live on top
    But he had no talent
    All he had was a penchant for shock

    Do they remember his unique stock?
    Do they remember
    Like I remember?

    Tidier but the last bit doesn't really work.

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    Yeah, the pitch is fine.
    The vocal is super-dark and doesn't sound good, but if it's just gonna be the guideline for someone else to re-track, it's fine.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VomitHatSteve View Post
    The vocal is super-dark and doesn't sound good.
    Thanks for the tune input. I'm just curious, when you say "super dark" do you mean the mix or subject matter? The subject matter is extremely dark. It's about friends who died way before old age.

    Is "doesn't sound good" my delivery (because damn it I'll never sound good), or again the subject matter?

    If I'm literally not being spoken to, sometimes I can't comprehend. I'm an idiot, what do you want from my life.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Snowman999 View Post
    Thanks for the tune input. I'm just curious, when you say "super dark" do you mean the mix or subject matter? The subject matter is extremely dark. It's about friends who died way before old age.

    Is "doesn't sound good" my delivery (because damn it I'll never sound good), or again the subject matter?

    If I'm literally not being spoken to, sometimes I can't comprehend. I'm an idiot, what do you want from my life.
    Both were in reference to the audio quality. I have no complaints about the lyrics or melody themselves.

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