Past Life I still couldn't sing

Snowman999

Snowman999

Active member
You're more than welcome to talk about the really bad mix here. But, I'm really looking for the Snow problem question of "Is my vocal in key".

I've melodyned it, and the backing vocals. But, I'd really like some great ears to tell me if there's anything that's still pitchy.

While I truly want to know if any of the vocals are pitchy, the lead vocal is most important. That's what I'd be giving a real singer to learn from.

Here's the lyrics to make it easier.

Shelly brought to work
A rubber dick in a bag
Her beautiful smile
Hid the fact she was sad
Four mouths to feed
A fifth on the way
Absentee husband
Tonight's the dildo's day

Shelly worked security
Though she was far from secure
She found out the hard way
Some illness has no cure

Laura christaned her son
Her lover by her side
She worked slept and ate
For the only man in her life
Evil minds will say
Laura signed the book
Sealing her son's fate
With a kiss of forbidden fruit

Laura worked security
Though she was far from secure
She found out the hard way
Some illness has no cure

Virginia sat alone
Cutting cuts she cut
Virginia eats alone
Everyone believes she's nuts
George the punk rocker
Wanted to live on top
He had no talent
All he had was a pension for shock
Do they remember his unique stock
Do they remember
Like I remember

Thanks in advance.

 
Well i make no claim to my ears greatness to strangers but sure the vocal sounds in pitch to me, the melody is fairly simple and there were no outright clunkers, my ears are confident enough to tell me to type that. I like the verby sound and the simple mix, someone might just let this pass as a pleasant tune and not even notice that you mention "rubber dicks" and dildos. Seems like you could keep the subject matter the same without using the exact terminology and make it more of an inside joke (no pun intended). But it's your song and i think it's sounding good!
 
Vocal sounds like it has pitch correction on it. Still, I think the vocal sounds good. Roll with it. Don't give it to someone else.

I really like it other than saying the "Dildo" lines. Those are awful on the ear. It's not that it's x-rated, but rather just a harsh word for the ear to take.
 
Stratomaster said:
Well i make no claim to my ears greatness to strangers but sure the vocal sounds in pitch to me, the melody is fairly simple and there were no outright clunkers, my ears are confident enough to tell me to type that. I like the verby sound and the simple mix, someone might just let this pass as a pleasant tune and not even notice that you mention "rubber dicks" and dildos. Seems like you could keep the subject matter the same without using the exact terminology and make it more of an inside joke (no pun intended). But it's your song and i think it's sounding good!
Click to expand...

Nola said:
Vocal sounds like it has pitch correction on it. Still, I think the vocal sounds good. Roll with it. Don't give it to someone else.

I really like it other than saying the "Dildo" lines. Those are awful on the ear. It's not that it's x-rated, but rather just a harsh word for the ear to take.
Click to expand...

THANK YOU BOTH. I've had enough A-Oks on the vocals to go with it. Yes, NOLA every syllable has pitch correction on it. I am tone deaf and FLAT (every note).

This a true stories song, so the opening verse while bizarre is factual. Wonderful woman, such a shame. The kind of person whose smile made you feel good about human beings.
 
Shelley brought to work
A rubber dick in a bag
Her beautiful smile
Hid the fact she was sad
Four mouths to feed
A fifth on the way
An absentee husband
& it's the dildo's day

Shelley worked security
Though she was far from secure
She found out the hard way
Some illnesses have no cure

Laura christened her son
With her lover by her side
She worked, slept and ate
For the only man in her life
Evil minds will say
Laura signed the book
Sealing her son's fate
With the kiss of forbidden fruit

Laura worked security
Though she was far from secure
She found out the hard way
Some illnesses have no cure

Virginia sat alone
Cutting: she cuts cuts
Virginia eats alone
Everyone thinks she's nuts

George the punk rocker
Wanted to live on top
But he had no talent
All he had was a penchant for shock

Do they remember his unique stock?
Do they remember
Like I remember?

Tidier but the last bit doesn't really work.
 
Yeah, the pitch is fine.
The vocal is super-dark and doesn't sound good, but if it's just gonna be the guideline for someone else to re-track, it's fine.
 
VomitHatSteve said:
The vocal is super-dark and doesn't sound good.
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Thanks for the tune input. I'm just curious, when you say "super dark" do you mean the mix or subject matter? The subject matter is extremely dark. It's about friends who died way before old age.

Is "doesn't sound good" my delivery (because damn it I'll never sound good), or again the subject matter?

If I'm literally not being spoken to, sometimes I can't comprehend. I'm an idiot, what do you want from my life.
 
Snowman999 said:
Thanks for the tune input. I'm just curious, when you say "super dark" do you mean the mix or subject matter? The subject matter is extremely dark. It's about friends who died way before old age.

Is "doesn't sound good" my delivery (because damn it I'll never sound good), or again the subject matter?

If I'm literally not being spoken to, sometimes I can't comprehend. I'm an idiot, what do you want from my life.
Click to expand...

Both were in reference to the audio quality. I have no complaints about the lyrics or melody themselves.
 
VomitHatSteve said:
Both were in reference to the audio quality. I have no complaints about the lyrics or melody themselves.
Click to expand...

Got'cha. Yeah, this was recorded years ago on a D1600. I think I used the phantom power for whatever crap mic I had. This is simply for whoever the real singer will be to learn from. Thanks.
 
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