Original Song- Crippler

[NotThatBright]

I don't care for pro wrestling, but a friend of mine I hadn't talked to in years does. He asked me to write a song on the guy that went apeshit a few years ago. Challenge accepted! I wouldn't post it except I think the sound turned out decent and could use some opinions on what works and what doesn't. Stuff like kick level, snare sound (replaced the snare wire I'd always used with a smaller one, and the difference is huge), guitar tone (too dark?), and thickness of bass guitar (too much bass sound making it muddy?) are things I'm questioning.

If anyone is offended by it, mention it in the comments and I'll take it down. I don't know if it's "too soon". Lyrics are on soundcloud.

FoulPhil can marvel at the minimalist guitar solo.



UPDATE:

I was told there was boxiness in the sound, so I cut mids out of all my toms and came up with this mix:

https://soundcloud.com/user92696274096/crippler-cut-freq/s-81GaU

 

[Greg_L]

Lol. Good subject matter, way way too many fucking words. It's a song, not a book.

When you cram that much lyrical content into a simple repetitive song, it makes it seem long. This song is only 3 minutes long, but by minute 2 I was ready for it to end. I got it already. Your 3 minute song seemed like it was 6 minutes long because it's just an endless barrage of words that pretty much just say the same things over and over. Funny, clever, yes. Just too much though IMO.

Don't worry about offending, and don't you dare take it down. Anyone that can be offended by a song deserves to be offended.

The mix....I guess you're showing some improvement. You still have a lot of boxiness in the drums. Boxiness everywhere. It's like everything is recorded in the same box. I have to assume your monitoring environment is bad, or you're doing headphone mixes with junk headphones. If you're wanting garagey old school cassette tape demo quality, then you got it. And there's something to be said for that. Some of the best stuff ever is so-so quality. If you're looking for a more "pro" - I hate that word but it applies here - commercial sound then you got a ways to go. I think you're definitely on the right track though. Your drumming needs to get better. I know you're new and learning and stuff, but I'm telling you dude, from a listening perspective, trainwreck fills and timing flubs make things sound way worse than a mediocre mix. Like that intro drum thing, WTF is that? It sounds bad and adds nothing to the song. Just let the song blast off.

 

[FoulPhil]

Greg already said everything that needed to be said. Although I'll add that between the 2 songs you posted it sounds too me like they could be the same song with different lyrics. Very similar and repetitive.

I don't think you have to worry about offending. A lot of punk became famous for offending. I feel if you're not offending anyone you're missing out on something special lol.

 

[NotThatBright]

It's a song, not a book.

Good thing, too, as I am illiterate.

When you cram that much lyrical content into a simple repetitive song, it makes it seem long. This song is only 3 minutes long, but by minute 2 I was ready for it to end. I got it already. Your 3 minute song seemed like it was 6 minutes long because it's just an endless barrage of words that pretty much just say the same things over and over. Funny, clever, yes. Just too much though IMO.

Well, he killed 2 people. It generally takes me about a minute and a half per victim. I'll grab a calculator later and see if I got that right.

Anyone [words stricken] deserves to be offended.

We all got it coming, don't we?

The mix....I guess you're showing some improvement. You still have a lot of boxiness in the drums. Boxiness everywhere. It's like everything is recorded in the same box. I have to assume your monitoring environment is bad, or you're doing headphone mixes with junk headphones. If you're wanting garagey old school cassette tape demo quality, then you got it. And there's something to be said for that. Some of the best stuff ever is so-so quality. If you're looking for a more "pro" - I hate that word but it applies here - commercial sound then you got a ways to go. I think you're definitely on the right track though. Your drumming needs to get better. I know you're new and learning and stuff, but I'm telling you dude, from a listening perspective, trainwreck fills and timing flubs make things sound way worse than a mediocre mix. Like that intro drum thing, WTF is that? It sounds bad and adds nothing to the song. Just let the song blast off.

You didn't think that "intro" was awesome?

I will never intentionally record in poor quality. I'm looking for "pro". That said, I have a $500 recorder/mixer, a large basement with shit all over the place in which to record drums, $15 sony earbuds with which I do mixing, and I don't know what a monitoring environment is (in an audio recording context). This sounded great on my earbuds/mp3 player. I just put it on my stereo, and now I know what "boxiness" is. I'm going to remix it, it sounded horrible. I always put reverb on my toms, and a little on the snare and kick. I'm going to ditch it all and see if it helps. Any suggestions on what I could be doing wrong that it has so little definition? Should I be cutting out frequencies on the bass guitar or anything like that? I cut out a shitload at 250 on my kick drum. Hopefully not all the boxiness is related to the recording process and I can salvage something by turning some knobs on the mixer.

I do realize that using earbuds to mix is moronic, though. You use good headphones, I guess? Can you recommend some? That's something I'd get immediately.

My drumming is getting better somehow, even though I barely get to play. You must have forgotten how bad I WAS. How bad I AM, believe it or not, is an improvement.

I read your "drumming for dummies" guide you have on this site a while ago and one thing I remember specifically is how you said to know what the hell you're going to play before you play it. That's not something anyone should need to be told, but I guess I did, because I did it for the first time a couple weeks ago and it helped quite a bit. I'm making it a habit.

What do you think of that snare sound? I think it's too "fat", if that's the right word. It sounds like I'm smashing something, but it decays almost immediately. I have zero sympathetic buzz from the toms (except a tiny bit on one of them), and I always had a shitload before I switched the snare wire from a 30 to a 20 last weekend, in spite of tuning. I have the wire and heads tight as hell. I guess it's the head I have on?

 

[NotThatBright]

Greg already said everything that needed to be said. Although I'll add that between the 2 songs you posted it sounds too me like they could be the same song with different lyrics. Very similar and repetitive.

To someone with your musical background (I've heard your guitar playing), anything I do is going to sound repetitive. It's like a 12th grader walking in on the 2nd grade class and not being impressed with the times tables written on the chalkboard.

I'm not arguing with you, though. I appreciate the honesty. This is the kind of shit I've always listened to and always liked, though. As luck would have it, it's also the only thing I can play.

I don't think you have to worry about offending. A lot of punk became famous for offending. I feel if you're not offending anyone you're missing out on something special lol.

I don't want to be a dick. I'm never out to offend... although as I just wrote to Greg, we do all deserve it. I assume the rest of you do, anyway. I can only speak for myself.

 

[FoulPhil]

To someone with your musical background (I've heard your guitar playing), anything I do is going to sound repetitive. It's like a 12th grader walking in on the 2nd grade class and not being impressed with the times tables written on the chalkboard.

I'm not arguing with you, though. I appreciate the honesty. This is the kind of shit I've always listened to and always liked, though. As luck would have it, it's also the only thing I can play.


I don't want to be a dick. I'm never out to offend... although as I just wrote to Greg, we do all deserve it. I assume the rest of you do, anyway. I can only speak for myself.

I get you, but I don't think I'm on any level above you or anything. I just always loved to pick up a guitar and jam the fuck out of it. I leave guitars out and every time I pass by one I have to pick it up and play it even if just for a few minutes. I go though phases of listening to old music (new to me) that I missed out on. What always amazes the fuck out of me is when a musician can take the most simple songs and in all their simplicity, the song is even more amazing than some the most complex music. I love it when a simple easy tune just reaches out and grabs you by the balls. LOL. Makes you think damn I wish I would have written that song...

 

[NotThatBright]

I get you, but I don't think I'm on any level above you or anything. I just always loved to pick up a guitar and jam the fuck out of it. I leave guitars out and every time I pass by one I have to pick it up and play it even if just for a few minutes. I go though phases of listening to old music (new to me) that I missed out on. What always amazes the fuck out of me is when a musician can take the most simple songs and in all their simplicity, the song is even more amazing than some the most complex music. I love it when a simple easy tune just reaches out and grabs you by the balls. LOL. Makes you think damn I wish I would have written that song...

Good music comes in all levels of simplicity/difficulty. I don't have a formula for identifying it, I just know it when I hear it. I would imagine you agree with that. It's fascinating that some people have fast fingers, but throughout my life it's been the guys playing three or four chords that I enjoyed listening to more. And there's nothing right or wrong with that!

I know what you mean about the ball-grabbing, whether the music is simple or complex. You know it when you hear it. I'm not a huge Rush fan, but at the downloadable jukebox at the bar I always play "Anthem". And when the solo comes on, I stop listening to whoever's talking to me until it's over. I always thought it was one of the most perfect combinations of drum, bass and guitar I ever heard. And when my friends start in with their "Rush sucks, he sounds like a bitch, etc", I tell them that they got the second one right, and to go fuck themselves.

 

[VomitHatSteve]

I'm all about cramming as many words as possible in a song. That being said, Greg's kinda right that you need to add more variety throughout the song to keep people's attention. On a second listen, I'm noticing that you're varying the guitar parts a lot, which helps, but you'll probably want to vary the melody and delivery too.

For the mix, I might pan the two vocals apart from each other a bit to emphasize the back-and-forth dialog effect.

 

[dobro]

It's good, the drums are too forward dry and boxy and loud, and it's the sixth song you've posted here in a month.

Because the drums are too present, the guitars sound like adornments merely.

Tweak the drums. It's almost always about the drums. You get the drums, you get the mix. The snare's too dark.