Opposite Sex

Hi everyone, This is an instrumental song I have composed and would like to have some feedback on. I also post the lyric along too, that you may read while listening to the melody. I do hope you'll enjoy my composition at the same time I also look forward for your comments/suggestions and critiques.

Here is the link: Opposite_Sex by irwin abrigo | Free Listening on SoundCloud

Opposite Sex
©2018 Irwin Byron Abrigo
-
(1st Verse)
Boy meets girl, temperature rise
When he looked into her...
Eyes...
Many words, he planned to say
But they fade away and...
Die...
So tell me why
Tell me why
-
(Chorus)
(The opposite sex)
Love and affection
(The opposite sex)
Hurts my emotion
(The opposite sex)
So much attraction
(The opposite sex)
It makes me nervous
It’s a fact that I can't flex
Control my thoughts, and keep my calm
I get so confuse, when I'm next
To the opposite sex
-
(2nd Verse)
Girls they look, so beautiful
Watch them going to and...
Fro...
I would ask, too much of them
Ask to follow I will...
Go...
But If I should
I don't know
-
(Chorus)
(The opposite sex)
Love and affection
(The opposite sex)
Hurts my emotion
(The opposite sex)
So much attraction
(The opposite sex)
It makes me nervous
It’s a fact that I can't flex
Control my thoughts, and keep my calm
I get so confuse, when I'm next
To the opposite sex
-
(Bridge)
Due to the opposite sex
When a boy meet girl it causes attraction
But they don't know the way we feel
Built up with tension
Is it lust? Is it love?
Then why I want them so much, Ah
But when all is said and done
There ain’t no other I want to fall in love, with
-
(Repeat Chorus)
 
Spend more time working on your melodies. Because it wasn't going anywhere it needs movement. Change it up every 8-16 bars with new elements. At one point in the song there were random notes that didn't add anything to your song. Spend listening and studying some R&B,soul, gospel music to help you better grasp the direction you're going for. Don't give up fam
 
Are you looking for mix advice or just advice on the melody?

The melody really starts to meander at the bridge. The entire song seems to lose focus then.

As to the mix, having all of the instruments except drums and "vocals" drop out for the last 40% of the song isn't a great choice.

I'd recommend you get some vocal synthesis software (Like vocaloid or Utau). It will be much easier to convey these ideas if there's something that sounds like a real voice there.
 
Are you looking for mix advice or just advice on the melody?

The melody really starts to meander at the bridge. The entire song seems to lose focus then.

As to the mix, having all of the instruments except drums and "vocals" drop out for the last 40% of the song isn't a great choice.

I'd recommend you get some vocal synthesis software (Like vocaloid or Utau). It will be much easier to convey these ideas if there's something that sounds like a real voice there.

I often look forward to being critique on the mix and melody so what you have written I find them helpful and I will apply to them because I am listening/reading with seriousness.

The vocal synthesis software you recommended I did look it up and I find it very interesting. I can't thank you enough, I take this has good information.

Irwin
 
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