Numbers (Please Critique)

[propman]

Well, people, here's several days of my sweat poured into a three minute pop song.

Mix #1
[MP3]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/65316259/Numbers.mp3[/MP3]
For mobile users

Mix #2
[MP3]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/65316259/Numbers%202.mp3[/MP3]
For mobile users

Lyrics:
Somewhere in the thick of it there's a spectral clapper in a bell
When it smacks the lip the resonant tone proclaims that all is well
But, by god, the sound is faint

It's getting harder to detect it
It took a score to assemble it
Depleted transmissions are tryin' to get through
Like a cassette that someone left close to a speaker

"Stay clear of the alleyway," yelped the klaxon with a broken line
Toddle through it anyway unaware of any warning sign
'Cause, by god, the sound is faint

It's getting harder to detect it
It took a score to assemble it
Depleted transmissions are tryin' to get through
Like a cassette that someone left close to a speaker
And it just keeps on getting weaker

It's like they're talking about us
But, by god, the sound is faint

It's getting harder to detect it
It took a score to assemble it
Depleted transmissions are tryin' to get through
Like a cassette that someone left close to a speaker
And it just keeps on getting weaker
​

Thank you for listening and please, please tell me what you think. I'd really appreciate it.

 

[DM60]

Very nice. Vocals are very good, sounds like the snare is a tad loud (sounds good, and personal opinion) during the chorus you have nice little organ/synthesizer sound could be brought up just a pinch.

Overall, the comments I've made are nits, if you didn't do them, it would still sound excellent. Nice little tune, I may have stated this to you before, reminds me of a Harry Nielsen tune. Definitely one of the finer tunes I have heard on this site. Great job.

 

[propman]

Very nice. Vocals are very good, sounds like the snare is a tad loud (sounds good, and personal opinion) during the chorus you have nice little organ/synthesizer sound could be brought up just a pinch.

Overall, the comments I've made are nits, if you didn't do them, it would still sound excellent. Nice little tune, I may have stated this to you before, reminds me of a Harry Nielsen tune. Definitely one of the finer tunes I have heard on this site. Great job.

Oh my gosh, thank you! I'm so flattered. Yes, I believe you have made that comparison before and I still appreciate it very much.

 

[sparks127]

I may not be qualified yet to critique on the mix but I like the song. The vocals remind me of Gerry Rafferty / later Meat Puppets. I enjoyed it!

 

[Mickster]

Excellent work!! I liked it a lot. It is a sort of throwback sound..........especially the vocals........but that is truly what fits the song and it's VERY WELL DONE. As DM60 mentioned.......the snare is just a tad too loud for my taste.........but that's just me. I wouldn't change it's tone or EQ it in any way.........just lower the volume a bit. Nice job and thanks for letting me hear it!!

 

[BroKen_H]

Well, if everyone's going to say, "It sounds like...", mine would be 90's PFR. Channeling Joel Hanson.
Thanks for the listen! I agree about the snare as well, and it could be just a little brighter...a little parallel eq to fatten and brighten?
Love the bass work. What amp/amp sim did you use?

 

[propman]

I may not be qualified yet to critique on the mix but I like the song. The vocals remind me of Gerry Rafferty / later Meat Puppets. I enjoyed it!

Thank you very much!

Excellent work!! I liked it a lot. It is a sort of throwback sound..........especially the vocals........but that is truly what fits the song and it's VERY WELL DONE. As DM60 mentioned.......the snare is just a tad too loud for my taste.........but that's just me. I wouldn't change it's tone or EQ it in any way.........just lower the volume a bit. Nice job and thanks for letting me hear it!!

Thank you so much! It's my pleasure, really. I'm so glad you like it. I really wanted the snare to SMACK but maybe, if a few more people take issue with it, I'll take it down a notch. I worked a long time on the drum sound. First time recording an actual full kit (albeit in sections).

 

[propman]

Well, if everyone's going to say, "It sounds like...", mine would be 90's PFR. Channeling Joel Hanson.
Thanks for the listen! I agree about the snare as well, and it could be just a little brighter...a little parallel eq to fatten and brighten?
Love the bass work. What amp/amp sim did you use?

Thanks! I guess I'll look into taking the snare down a bit since that seems to be a pretty prevalent complaint.
For the bass? It's just DI. no sim, just compression and a little verb.

 

[BroKen_H]

Nice. Like the bass tone. Really simple sounds really good.
AFA the snare. I agree it should pop. Try what I suggested and bring the volume down, but Parallel EQ a boost at about 7k +/- at about 3db and see what you think. When you parallel, you can blend the two to give you as much or as little pop as you'd like. Don't know what DAW you use, but some support parallel channels and some don't. If not, you just need to copy the track and then sum them into a bus track.

 

[propman]

OK, I believe I've addressed a couple of the concerns. My only worry now is that the claps are too loud. Yes, no? (Mix #2 in original post.)

 

[propman]

Thank you! I'm using Reaper. I'm not too familiar with the idea of parallel EQ. Is there a good article I could read?

 

[rayc]

There are touches of Harry Nilsson certainly.
Far less TMBG than previously and NO DEVO this time.
This is a lot more Adam.
Adam who is Adam being Adam - I'm adamant about that.
Cool arrangement.
The snare in mix 2 works for me.
DI bass with the miinimum usually works a treat for a toppy/proggy tone.
I love the ice-cream van twinkle at the end.
Terrific song mate.
Good narrative, consistent levels in vox and no FX clouding anything.
NOICE WUN.

 

[BroKen_H]

Thank you! I'm using Reaper. I'm not too familiar with the idea of parallel EQ. Is there a good article I could read?

Chapter 15 of the Reaper User Guide shows how to do parallel compression. You can do up to 64 channels of parallel fx in Reaper. I'm no expert as I use Reason and parallel is REALLY REALLY simple there. The idea is to take a dry channel, an over-comped channel, and a channel with the EQ exaggerated a bit, then sum the three into a bus (I believe Reaper uses multiple outputs and then re-sums with mixers).
This sounds very different from using buses and wet/dry settings. It will be fuller, and much more flexible.
Second mix sounds very good as is, but hey, experiment, learn a new trick, you just may like what you find.

From my Google, I believe Dobro may hold some answers. PM him and see if he'll share.

 

[DM60]

I thought the second mix put everything in its place. Great tune, very good mix.

Great job.

 

[NotThatBright]

I think the snare in mix #2 is straddling that boundary between "good" and "too loud", which is probably right where it should be if you want it to pop. The voice and vocals are exceptional. Love that bass tone... perfect for the song. Was the bass played with a pick?

Really good song.

 

[propman]

There are touches of Harry Nilsson certainly.
Far less TMBG than previously and NO DEVO this time.
This is a lot more Adam.
Adam who is Adam being Adam - I'm adamant about that.
Cool arrangement.
The snare in mix 2 works for me.
DI bass with the miinimum usually works a treat for a toppy/proggy tone.
I love the ice-cream van twinkle at the end.
Terrific song mate.
Good narrative, consistent levels in vox and no FX clouding anything.
NOICE WUN.

Thank you, Ray! interestingly enough, I had a dream last night in which I tried to take one of Devo's synthesizers. (Mark seemed OK with it but Jerry was horrified.) This song challenged me in a lot of new ways and I was sure, mixing through tired headphone and a single cheap speaker, that I would have a LOT of problems. I'm so excited to find out that I was nearly right where I needed to be with mix #1. I've never mixed anything where the snare was the only issue.

Thank you again for listening, Ray!

Chapter 15 of the Reaper User Guide shows how to do parallel compression. You can do up to 64 channels of parallel fx in Reaper. I'm no expert as I use Reason and parallel is REALLY REALLY simple there. The idea is to take a dry channel, an over-comped channel, and a channel with the EQ exaggerated a bit, then sum the three into a bus (I believe Reaper uses multiple outputs and then re-sums with mixers).
This sounds very different from using buses and wet/dry settings. It will be fuller, and much more flexible.
Second mix sounds very good as is, but hey, experiment, learn a new trick, you just may like what you find.

From my Google, I believe Dobro may hold some answers. PM him and see if he'll share.

I know how to do parallel FX but parallel EQ sounds really ... useless, to me unless you're talking about isolating a certain frequency like, let's say 1k on a kick with a peak filter and then mixing it back in to make it click. Otherwise, I don't see what couldn't be done with an EQ right smack on the track or in series.

I thought the second mix put everything in its place. Great tune, very good mix.

Great job.

Thank you!

I think the snare in mix #2 is straddling that boundary between "good" and "too loud", which is probably right where it should be if you want it to pop. The voice and vocals are exceptional. Love that bass tone... perfect for the song. Was the bass played with a pick?

Really good song.

Oh, wow. I think I may have blushed at the "voice and vocals are exceptional" line. I felt myself being flat here and there. I even tried tuning the vocals but when I heard what a mess it was making, I took it off and just used what I had thinking it fit the song better. I'm glad to know my intuition was right and that, perhaps, my voice was fine and I was being too critical all along.

I didn't use a pick on the bass. I acted like I was holding a pick -- holding my index finger and thumb together, and just picked it with the nails of my index finger and thumb. Why? Well, I was too lazy to find a pick and I figured having direct tactile feedback would give me better control. Thank you VERY much for listening!

 

[Schwarzenyaeger]

Mix #2

Reminds me of the Beatles.

The mix itself sounds very mono. If you're interested in that old pop song style, maybe you could try the guitar right and bass left or reversed. Personally, I think that you could spread the instruments around a bit more.

The vocals are really nice. Good bass tone.

 

[propman]

Mix #2

Reminds me of the Beatles.

The mix itself sounds very mono. If you're interested in that old pop song style, maybe you could try the guitar right and bass left or reversed. Personally, I think that you could spread the instruments around a bit more.

The vocals are really nice. Good bass tone.

I'm so happy everybody is responding so well to the bass tone. Thank you! The mix is quite centered. I think that may have worked to my benefit on the mixing front. I thought, very briefly, of panning the guitar and bass but then I thought, nah. It made me seasick whenever The Beatles (or their in-a-rush engineers) did it.

Thank you very much for having a listen!

 

[Schwarzenyaeger]

I'm so happy everybody is responding so well to the bass tone. Thank you! The mix is quite centered. I think that may have worked to my benefit on the mixing front. I thought, very briefly, of panning the guitar and bass but then I thought, nah. It made me seasick whenever The Beatles (or their in-a-rush engineers) did it.

Thank you very much for having a listen!

I think it sounds stupid as well. It makes me feel like they were going "Look at this, stereo! NOBODY WILL EVER GET SICK OF EXTREME PANNINGS!

 

[propman]

I think it sounds stupid as well. It makes me feel like they were going "Look at this, stereo! NOBODY WILL EVER GET SICK OF EXTREME PANNINGS!

EXACTLY! Haha. Hendrix did a lot of that too and his engineer REFUSES to do a new stereo mix saying it would "mess with his artistic vision." Please.