New Tune - Doldrums

Nola

Nola

Well-known member
Hey guys, can I get feedback on this mix and the tune overall? The first 16 bars are "lo-fi", then it kicks in, so please don't turn it off right away due to the lo-fi sound! It's supposed to be an AM radio type intro.

Tough mix with lots going on and my ears are toast, so let me know what I missed! Thanks, guys.

Doldrums by Suicide Van | Free Listening on SoundCloud
 
From a songwriting perspective, if you have to preface with "please don't turn it off before" then you might want to rearrange things so you don't need the disclaimer? In this case, shorten the beginning section(?).

I think you can safely bring the kick up a little in the mix [maybe more low end/thump/boom, and a meatier reverb patch?]. The snare is plenty there and snappy, but the kick isn't nearly as present. Lots of room still in the sound field for more kick, do it! ;)

The vocals could use some chorusing, they're a bit dry and center by most production standards. There's nothing wrong with how you have them, but they don't fit to my ears.

The electric guitar parts could come up a bit.
 
Pinky said:
From a songwriting perspective, if you have to preface with "please don't turn it off before" then you might want to rearrange things so you don't need the disclaimer? In this case, shorten the beginning section(?).
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I agree with all of this. I'll add that the guitar should be included with the EQ stuff in the intro. Make the guitar have the same EQ limitations/treatment as the vocals, so it all sounds like it's coming from the same AM radio. Then, it's more obvious, likely, that it's only a tease. And make it a touch shorter, like Pinky said.
 
Pinky said:
From a songwriting perspective, if you have to preface with "please don't turn it off before" then you might want to rearrange things so you don't need the disclaimer? In this case, shorten the beginning section(?).
Click to expand...

That depends a lot on how you're planning to use the song. For deep album cuts, it's fine. Don't do it on a lead single tho. (If it's the first thing someone hears, you have <7 seconds to hook them)

Regardless, I don't know that there's enough contrast between the lo and hi fi sections. It doesn't really open up in any meaningful way; the stereo spread is pretty much the same, and the "space" is still pretty cramped and close.
I know that the latter section of the song is pretty close to your usual style, but that's still pretty lo-fi overall. What would you call that post punk? indie? Not really a genre that lends itself to the effect, so if you're going to try to do it, the lo-fi section has to be really clamped down!
Maybe try running the guits through the same AM effect you use on the vocals? Or possible the master bus entirely instead of just the vox.
 
VomitHatSteve said:
That depends a lot on how you're planning to use the song. For deep album cuts, it's fine. Don't do it on a lead single tho. (If it's the first thing someone hears, you have <7 seconds to hook them)

Regardless, I don't know that there's enough contrast between the lo and hi fi sections. It doesn't really open up in any meaningful way; the stereo spread is pretty much the same, and the "space" is still pretty cramped and close.
I know that the latter section of the song is pretty close to your usual style, but that's still pretty lo-fi overall. What would you call that post punk? indie? Not really a genre that lends itself to the effect, so if you're going to try to do it, the lo-fi section has to be really clamped down!
Maybe try running the guits through the same AM effect you use on the vocals? Or possible the master bus entirely instead of just the vox.
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Thanks that's really detailed and brings up good points.

When I remix, I will go back and apply the EQ to the intro guitars.

Pinky, when I wrote "don't turn it off" I wasn't talking the songwriting perspective but that lo-fi effect, but if you think the intro is too long, that's cool. I actually wanted to edit out the entire intro but my GF/music partner likes it and I respected her opinion on it. I personally don't like that section, which is why I went with an effect I thought was interesting. When I did edit it out or cut it short, the song did lose something and sounded like it was starting too abruptly. I wrote this song 20 years ago as a teenager and just got to recording it, so I think I'd do things differently now for that part, but I wanted to stay true to it.
 
Definitely don't drop the intro, it just might be too long and/or not pronounced enough as others have explained.
 
Sounds pretty good. I don't mind the AM radio intro and didn't hear a problem with the effect on the vocal but not the guitar. You would have a very different result if you sent the everything to the effect. Bass seems fairly minimal. Programmed drums are getting better and more varied. Right around 2:30, when the vocals come back in after the break, I'm not feeling the pulse. Seems like the drums are dragging and trying to find the beat, rather than driving it.
 
I liked the intro too. Maybe fade in the static a little more slowly. It was a little abrupt. Just a real quick over a second or so. But other than that it was cool.

Then when the song kicks in, don't have any drums signaling it. You have a couple of snare hits leading in to it. That kind of diminishes that kick into gear. The tempo increase was too immediate for me.

I liked that fuzz guitar. I thought the bass sounded good.

Drums sounded decent. I liked the kick and the cymbals. Snare was a little too "snarey" - just too much rattle of the snares. Minor complaint.

Vocals were charmingly pitchy. I liked them.
 
I'll clarify that the guitars were the same from the intro to the normal part...and That's why I think they should have the same EQ treatment. You can't tell the whole thing is for fx because, like VHS said, the guitars sound the same when it all kicks in. I would check to see how it sounds with the whole intro being AM radio, and not just parts of it. There's not enough contrast now. As it stands, it comes off like the vocals are mixed poorly and the listener might not understand that the intro is supposed to be fx. Make sense?
 
The 2 things I noticed have been addressed already...
Bass guitar is too low in the mix and the vocal was pitchy.
Good song nola!
 
I actually like the intro going into the busier part. I do think the singing could be cleaned up a bit as far as hitting the notes. I like the guitar tone. The main part sounds pretty well balanced, but I think it could be a little louder compared to the first section to have it stand out more.
 
jimistone said:
The 2 things I noticed have been addressed already...
Bass guitar is too low in the mix and the vocal was pitchy.
Good song nola!
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Thanks, Jimi, and sorry this took forever to get to, but I've been gone for weeks due to health issues.

I hear both those issues, too. I'll see what I can do!

Finally getting around to reworking the mix. I'll bump the bass or sculpt the tone a bit better, and I'll give the vocals another shot.
 
I like this tune, Nola, very original. I enjoyed the glitchy intro.

I have the same problem with pitchy vox, what I've done recently is to add a piano track that is the same notes as the lead vocals. I find practicing with it and actually recording with it (then muting it of course!) helps me get to the notes.

Drums-wise, I found the crash on the left too loud and thought there were places in the song where you could have used a crash or two.

I think you need to make more room in the mix for the piano. I can't tell you what the time stamp is, but I really like that flutey-sounding synth, except I'd put a envelope on it to get it out of the way quicker. If I'm going to get real picky, the first part of the song could be 2-4 bpm faster, IMO.

Thanks for sharing, can't wait to hear the remix after you take the others' suggestions regarding bass, etc.

Enjoyed it, thanks!
Timbo
 
YellowDwarf said:
that flutey-sounding synth, except I'd put a envelope on it to get it out of the way quicker. If I'm going to get real picky, the first part of the song could be 2-4 bpm faster, IMO.
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This is the most interesting feedback. How do I put an envelope on it to get it out of the way? I don't see you around here much, Dwarf, so hopefully you get this question and can answer it.

Also, is there a way to make just the first bit a few BMP faster after the fact? Does melodyne do that? I think it's a good suggestion just not sure how to do it.

Thanks man, good feedback, and glad you got enjoyment from it, too.
 
What I meant about the envelope is automating the volume on that synth and using it to decrease the volume, rather than letting the synth's decay setting do it. It was "lasting" too long and getting in the way of the next part of the song.

As for the song's tempo, unless you have million dollar software that can change a song's tempo (Like Gilmour had to do on every song on his second to last album because they were all too slow), you would need to rerecord all the analog tracks in the first part. It just dragged a bit, in my humble opinion. I often have to redo my stuff 2-4 bpm faster.

Hope this helps,
Timbo
 
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The tune is good but you lost me with that change at 1.40 mark. Can't comment on the mix other than to say it sounds fine on these cheap speakers. I like the vocals and chord progression
 
Bulls Hit said:
The tune is good but you lost me with that change at 1.40 mark. Can't comment on the mix other than to say it sounds fine on these cheap speakers. I like the vocals and chord progression
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Thanks, Bull, bummer I lost you there.

YellowDwarf said:
What I meant about the envelope is automating the volume on that synth and using it to decrease the volume, rather than letting the synth's decay setting do it. It was "lasting" too long and getting in the way of the next part of the song.
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Dwarf, great tip. I did this last night and it tightened it up so much more. I wouldn't have noticed or thought of it so thanks a ton.
 
I really enjoyed this! I'll echo the sentiment about the guitar needing the same "AM" treatment as the vocals in the intro. Also someone mentioned that the intro snare fill should be eliminated because it diminishes the effect. I can definitely see that possibility, but I wonder what it will be like if everything in the intro were "AM"-style instead of just the vocals. If that were the case, then that snare fill might act as kind of a cool bridge between the two fidelity styles. You could also try adding the "AM" effect to that snare fill and having everything become "hi-fi" at the same time. Lots of things you could try there.

I really enjoy the guitar tones and textures throughout (that fuzz guitar is awesome!), and the phrasing was nice and fresh as well (3-bar phrases, etc.). And the drum parts were nice as well.

The vocals were, as TripleM said, "charmingly pitchy." I liked them too, but I think a few lines crossed the "charmingly" line and could be re-done. Overall, though, your vocal tone is certainly very charming, IMO, and pleasant to listen to.

Oh, and I think the "radio-tuning" effect in the very beginning could be drawn out for about another second or so---maybe one more frequency band/song before we find your song.

Anyway, cool tune. I look forward to the final version. Thanks for sharing!
The writing was really nice in that you were able to do a lot were a fairly small amount of material. That's always something I struggle with: keeping it simple. I always admire people who do that well.
 
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