New original song - slow love song - You and I

Lol, sounds real good, I love it. It has a sort of sarcastic feeling to it. I hope this doesnt offend you, but I could see this as a soundtrack in a dark comedy while two people are killing themselves.

The drums lose it in two spots, but it really captures a great groove towards the end. Keith Richards has some solo stuff like this, Roy Orbison esq stuff.

Really enjoyed the listen, welcome to HR!
 
PDP - thanks a lot! I will never listen to this song the same way again! :)

I can see the cameras panning away from the front bay window of an older couples home as it implies they are leaving planet earth together....

Never intended that with this song, but I found it humorous and had a good chuckle. Thank you it put a smile on my face!
 
I have uploaded a new version of the song, based on comments received. I was aiming for melancholy, although I did not want this to be a sad song. I wanted it to feel like someone who is deeply in love, deeply connected to another person, in many ways happy and satisfied with his life, but in some ways very depressed about something. Gee, this sounds a lot like me.

So, this may not be a commercially successful song, after all, I am just a songwriter-hobbyist. But it does a pretty good job of expressing my feelings.

Any other comments would be welcome.

PLAY SONG HERE: You and I Song
 
The first thing that struck me was, although this is intended to be an intimate and sentimental song, the reverb on the vocal sounded like it was in a huge hall. I'd change the reverb dramatically.

There are a couple of tempo issues in the first minute or so. another small one in the last 30 seconds.

Something about the instrument transition at 1:00 that bugged me. Too many changes at once. The acoustic rhythm guitar goes away (or at least I can't hear it anymore), and is replaced by electrics, organs, vibes, acoustic guitar licks, etc.
 
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