My first attempt at mixing my own song....

Not bad Steve. Not sure about the sleigh bells, I'd lose those.
The movements from loud to soft are too obvious, maybe automate those a little better so they're more subtle.
Enjoyed the song :cool:
Cheers
Phil
 
Thanks Phil. Wasn't sure about the sleigh bells myself :). And I will get automating with the volume slope on those :). Really appreciate the feedback.

Steve :)
 
I started listening, thinking it was a snoozer. But I hopped and skipped through, and discovered that you have some good instincts...about building and maintaining interest. That's BIG.

I could imagine the song as a movie track...drawn-out length. Compress the arrangement, and it'd be a good song. The weaknesses were in the rythmic treatments.....some study in pleasing instrumental conventions would be time well-spent; for example, the heavy-handedness of the purcussion instrument could take some refinement that'd come with some focused listening to pro players...and the nice things they can add to a recording.

One other less serious weakness was in the the chord progression of the chorus. There's a lot more anticipation in the listeners mind, I think...more places to go and interest to kindle....than you settled for. One or two deviations to or from from the bVII resolving to tonic would have been really nice....or , maybe, unnecessary if the groove were lighter, and lent some more forward momentum.

Your vocal and the ambience remind me a lot of movie score (songs) I hear in the last few years....young alt pathos, sort of. Nice vocal. Very natural, and conveying the emo without sounding trite.

The recorded sounds were unconventional, but they worked for me. I liked the mix when the parts started jiving sometime from the beginning.

Good work.
 
Thank you so much for the detailed response, you have really helped me outline where I need to focus my attention for the future. I will take everything on board and try to better myself. Thank you its much appreciated.

Steve
 
No prob: I'm happy for the opportunity to critique others' tunage....I can never hear myself as others might hear me....which is why I put stuff here, too. And I learn a lot doing musical autopsies. I'm inclined to believe that arrangement strength is just as, or mo' important than, the last 25% of finesse and skill as audio engineer....likely cuz I'm not a swingin' recordist, anyway. Scratchy, old mono records from 1938 make my blood boil...it's the band, the players, the melodic, rythmic and arrangement ideas...and the pulse!

A lot of emphasis here is placed on the sound. I'm more comfortable assaying ideas....which , I reckon, seem to be under-appreciated, generally. And a lot can be done with editing...tunes don't always have to be re-recorded. Editing is under-appreciated, too, I think.

But maybe that's just my peculiar approach: I hack up tracks like I'm arranging a tune for a real band. Cut and paste and snip and slide.... and re-arrange the furniture.

I hope it's a somewhat important contribution to the forum...

But take nothing I say as Gospel.
 
Well Maybe I can get your views on another. I've been workin with a young vocalist that seems to naturally come up with wildly structured songs that a lot of my friends are instantly taking a liking too. Your views would be much appreciated. She's only 18, has a small voice but loads of character. Only have a youtube vid, but the audio isn't too bad.

YouTube - ‪Headlines (Original Song by Just Harriet)‬‏
 
She's wonderful! That's a really good recording....her voice is really nice....she's cute and comes across sincerely...and she writes interesting lyric...and apparently knows what she wants to do with them! Gold ring!

And, that's what girls her age and younger....in that record-buying GAGA demographic...are listening to. I know this for fact. Consider Gaga (who also owns writes the tunes she sings). She's right in the game. Maybe she'll acknowledge you in her Grammy acceptance speech.

Can she dance, too?

Good job with the groove and sounds and mix...and master.

That's my honest opinion. FWIIW. Shop that vid to some producers!
 
Wow

Thank you very much for your kind words again, we are working on getting one more song in the bag with her, so we have a 3 single ep. Then we will be pluggin all the record companies with fingers crossed.

I had to call her and tell her what you said to, after listening to your material I can see you are talented in many genres of music, and critical acclaim from you means a lot.

She was very happy with your comments

Thanks again.
 
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