Obama part too loud - check
Vocals pitchy at parts _ check
Bit monotonous - check
but
I really like old style vocal samples stuck in rock tracks...they always sound really good to me
There's parts where the vocals are really good..and generally theyre OK through the whole track...you dont sound like youre backing off which is a problem for many, just more takes and tighten them up
As the song currently stands it feels a minute too long..over 5 mins at 80bpm needs to give more interest
So you say youre not great with BFD...but are some simple things you could add to build tension/interest....during the build ups maybe introduce a simple ride beat, then in the chorus section add a tambourine or something...for each change up announce it with a crash cymbal...pretty basic stuff
or make it even more interesting...split the snare out onto different tracks, give one a low pass, one a high pass, one a ping pong delay, maybe layer another sound on the fourth hit or reverse it...something along these lines...this would make it stand out rather than appearing monotonous
Sorry Im no expert but when I hear people who can sing and play guitar better than me...go through all the trouble of composing and recording...build up the courage to put it online and let complete strangers hear it...I think why the fuck not spend more time on the drums??