I really like this song. Overall, I like the feeling.
The primary peeve I have, about 80% of the 'songs' I listen to on this board is that they lyric is not intelligible. And you have excellent pronunciation, and I speak four different languages, and can sing in any language ... so what's wrong ?
I literally cannot understand the lyric ... on the first listening.
You know the lyrics, we don't. You could mix this song with the vocal fader on -INF, and still 'hear they lyrics'.
You may be convinced you have mixed 'your' vocal well but 9 times out of 10 the vocal is buried in either sibilance caused by an overuse of EQ on the highs and mids of the vocal, or an overuse of reverb and effects in general. Or the vocal is just plain buried.
This song is a 'lyrically driven pop song' and will not survive if the listener has to struggle for 'an instant' to understand any one of the words. Don't fool yourself and don't cheat us out of the words and your vocal.
The violins are much, much, much louder than the vocal. That's absurd, and I'm a violinist !
If your listener feels for a 'second' that they will encounter a struggle at any point in the song ... for an instant ... a struggle to understand the words ... they will listen to something else.
This is a very 'listenable' song, very REMish ...
You are too good of a singer to hide your vocal in all this machinery, software and trash.
It has been my GREAT PLEASURE to hear many participants on this board 'come out of thier vocal shells' and blossom, and that does not necessarily mean 'start to sing better', it means 'vocal mixed appropriately'.
You have no headroom in the song for the vocal.
The reason this is such a big peeve of mine is the vocals in this song are of very good quality and it really pisses me off that you believe that the instruments, the drums, the guitars, the violins are anywhere near as important as the vocal. Look at the meters. If the meters for the electric guitar and the vocals are the same ... which one is much, much louder in actuality ?
Drums are dime a dozen, violins are worth a nickel, violas ... worthless ... cellos ... garbage ... when compared to a well sung, hook laden vocal with GOLDEN harmony vocals.
The vocal is 'the star' in this tune, the violin is a 'prop'.
Don't cheat us of the very fine harmony vocals in this tune.
A record executive will not listen a second time to understand your lyrics because ... they don't have time, we are very, very special listeners on this board, we 'really' listen.
Don't cheat us on the lyrics, don't cheat yourself.
Take the instrument levels DOWN ... DO NOT bring the vocal levels up. CREATE HEADROOM for the vocal, and then normalize.
If you will mix the vocal much more dry, and mix it way, way, way out on top and out front, the violin would be much more enjoyable, as it is, it's a nuisance, it steals the show.
I hear and just jammed with your tune a really neat viola and then violin line that fills on the vocal 'melody' not the words, just the melody, because I"m not going to kick myself in the ass to understand the words.
This tune is really ripe for a full treating throughout the entire song for live strings ... very REM ...
I wish you'd mix the vocal properly and let me have a go at collaborating with you on this one.