February heartache

R

Robbi007

New member
“February Heartache” is my latest production … an intimate piano track about the death of a loved one, beautifully sung by Tara-Lynn Sharrock from Australia. The craftily written lyrics by Carroll Kiphen from Texas caught my attention and I felt the urge to compose the music to go with them. The vocal arrangement gets more and more complex as the song progresses. Feedback is always appreciated. Enjoy.

All the best
Robert

FEBRUARY HEARTACHE
SoundClick artist: Rob B (GER) - Rob B. a songwriter from Germany

Verse 1:
It started years ago
Beneath the old oak tree
Carved our names into a heart
Proclaimed your love for me

Verse 2:
Thought it was forever
But fate had other plans
One late night in February
Death took your hand

Pre-chorus:
What’s written in the heart
Will always make me cry
For what was and what should be
Two happy people’s lives

Chorus:
February heartache
My valentine
Watching other lovers
While I’m missing mine
I’ll have to stand
The test of time
February heartache
That’s my forever valentine

Verse 3:
I stopped to pray today
Beneath the old oak tree
Ran my hand across the heart
To bring you close to me

Verse 4:
Some love lasts forever
It never goes away
And now every February
Your memory comes to stay

Pre-chorus

Chorus

Bridge:
Lovers kissing in the park
Their futures seem so bright
It brings heartbreak
When I go home at night – at night

Repeat chorus


Music: Robert Baitinger
Lyrics: Carroll Kiphen
Piano: Robert Baitinger
Vocals, vocal arrangement and mix: Tara-Lynn Sharrock
 
Man, that is some schlocky lyric ... The prechorus and chorus seems too quick a tempo, the singer is rushing through most of the lyrics. The vocal is too loud in the overal mix, and the EQ of the louder sections was fatiguing - I had to turn it down.
 
I am now depressed!

No, it's not schlocky to me. Well, maybe the phrase "death took your hand." These are real life emotions that most of us experience sooner or later. If we can't make songs about them, what's the point of music? Once in a while, you just need to take an anti-irony pill and sing about it.

It's very well composed and performed. Singer has a beautiful voice. I agree with MJB that the tempo seems to be pushing her. There is a little bit too much ambience on the vocal for my taste, and something else--maybe EQ choices, maybe the way you are applying compression, maybe the particular mic you used to record her. Or some combination. The effect is to give the vocal a glassy, cold texture where a warmer one might have been more inviting. I'd be tempted to strip away all the processing and start fresh from the raw vocal track.

Clearly you guys know what you are doing. Welcome to the Clinic. I hope you'll take time to listen and comment on mixes others have posted. Reciprocity is what keeps the Clinic going.
 
another track where i'm hearing hiss with each vocal line. and it clearly disappears when the vocal stops. after the first and last "valentine" is the most obvious instance. and yes, i'd consider moving down a few bpm. great singing. i can't get over that hiss though. it's like there's a combination of room noise, compression, and an EQ boost up top that exaggerates it.
 
Have to agree with most of the other comments. Vocalist has a gorgeous voice, but it's quite harsh in this mix. To much high end and hiss. Nice vocal arrangements on the song. I would have loved to hear more instruments as the song builds. With just the piano, it doesn't seem to go much of anywhere. The added vocals help, but not enough.

Nice melody, but I agree with others, a bit pedestrian on the lyrics. All in all, though, decent job.
 
Hey guys,
I'd like to thank all of you for your great feedback. I’m just a songwriter and I can hardly play an instrument. When it comes to mixing I'm an absolute beginner. To be honest with you guys, I wasn't hearing the things you mentioned. Now I am. Mega-thanks! The vocals sound cold and now I hear the hissing too. The original vocal recordings don't have that. I used EZ Mix and apparently the wrong set of whatever is built into those EZ Mix presets. I think Robus made the best suggestion … I'll start from scratch again.
As for the tempo, you're right there too. I was focusing too much on making the song radio friendly and keeping the length under 3:45 minutes. Slowing it down would mean recording the vocal tracks again. I'll have to think about that.
Thanks once again for your help. I'm learning a lot here.

All the best
Robert
 
Quite a bit of hiss on this.

I thought the female vocal was nice. It needs some more attention in the low end. Some of the low notes get muddy. It's a bit sibalent. The reverb you're using doesn't help.

I'm not sure I'd call the lyrics craftily written. To me its a few cliches strung together.

Piano is OK.
 
Hi TripleM,
thanks for sharing your thoughts. Very helpful advice. I appreciate it. I'm currently working on the hiss problem.

All the best
Robert
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top