Does Vocal Melody Sound Appropriate for Blues Sound? (How Can I Improve Vocals)?

[AaronChapman]

I was feeling down,
So I fled from town.
I was feeling down,
So I fled from town.
And then you came around,
Filled me up with your spell.
With your wicked spell on me.

And If I wasn't always drinking,
I might know,
How you poison me so.

You're an expensive glass of wine,
But, you taste so sweet.
You're expensive glass of sorrow,
But baby,
But baby,
You taste so sweet,
But baby,
But baby,
You taste so sweet.

And it's not clear to me now,
And it's not clear to me,
It's a mystery, what you've done to me.
(this is the lyrical structure I have decided on. I didn't quite sing it this way on the recording though) Also, how can I improve vocally?
https://soundcloud.com/figure8s/test

 

[Nola]

you're timbre is great. pitch is mostly good, but since you're evoking emotion pitch isn't a huge deal so long as you're close.
the big problem is lack of enunciation. the words are slurring together. i'd still listen to you sing because the other points are so strong, but try to have more clarity

 

[gecko zzed]

What Nola says.

A couple of things to consider:

Hang on to vowels a bit longer, and make consonants shorter. For example, if you are singing a long 'sing', aim for 's i i i i ng' rather than si n n n n g. It's doing the latter that makes things sound unclear and contribute to lack of enunuciation.

When you sing out a bit and get a bit of rasp into your voice, it elevates the performance. Even when not belting out, that grit is something worth pursuing.

 

[Nola]

For example, if you are singing a long 'sing', aim for 's i i i i ng' rather than si n n n n g. It's doing the latter that makes things sound unclear and contribute to lack of enunuciation.

i know aaron is a big nick drake fan from past covers he's posted, and nick drake is notorious for singing out the long consonants. i wonder if it's something he just picked up from listening to nick drake.

it's actually very unique so i wouldn't tell him to change it necessarily but just to take special care to enunciate during those passages so he can keep that uniqueness.

 

[RFR]

Pretty good but not working for me. Real hard to understand some of what you're singing. Cant make out some of the words.
I was suprised that this was just a vocal track. Hard to do to just sing by yourself.

I wonder if there was music it would be better or worse. Maybe the tough to understand words would work better..or not. Hard to say.

I'd imagine with the music part of the song you'd sing a bit differently seeing how there is that interplay between the vocalist and instrumentation.

 

[Jessica_X]

Nice lyrics! I didn't feel the beat behind the melody strongly enough. I feel like with blues you can play fast and loose with the beat, as long as you don't lose it all together. That's my main critique. Good work though!

 

[gecko zzed]

i know aaron is a big nick drake fan from past covers he's posted, and nick drake is notorious for singing out the long consonants. i wonder if it's something he just picked up from listening to nick drake.

it's actually very unique so i wouldn't tell him to change it necessarily but just to take special care to enunciate during those passages so he can keep that uniqueness.

It may be very unique, but it's also not pleasant. Without the grit there's just a nasally slurring of words as the consonants, particularly 'n', push the sound through his nose. It's partly the cause of lack of articulation. Not being all that familiar with Nick Drake, I popped into YT and did a search. First song was I found was 'when the day was done', and I note his enunciation is not particularly brilliant either. Each to his own I guess.

 

[ido1957]

This should go to the Can I Sing subforum.

 

[andrushkiwt]

This should go to the Can I Sing subforum.

+1

 

[RAMI]

I like this a lot. I see what people are saying about enunciation, but I've always liked hard to understand lyrics, contrary to most people. The Stones did it a lot. A lot of my favorite bands slurred and pronounced words weird. How many times have you thought someone was saying something for years until you read the lyrics and realize you had it wrong for years? I love that.

Anyway, I think you have a great voice. I wish I had the balls, let alone the voice, to record myself singing with Al Capella.

 

[AaronChapman]

Thanks for the insight everyone. I've taken the suggestions to heart and I'm working on the song.