I had a restless night so bear with me.
The tremolo is a little much for my taste - seems like it's everywhere, all the time. Maybe do a little tweaking on the timing - seems like it's fast but not hitting right on the beat, like a triplet timing might, and it's too choppy, again, for me. I'd even dial it back for the straight rhythm.
I just have a feeling that the guitar break would fit the song theme/words if it felt more melodic, and less "etude-y" and didn't break up as harshly on the chord strokes, i.e., just a bit of beauty and relief from the story. Again, my opinion...
I'd like the bass to have more real bottom and a little less in its upper frequencies. It feels little overpresent there, and there's more interesting stuff between the keys, guitar and vocals that are competing in there that could have a turn.
But, there's kind of vocal click or something in there that's making it hard for me to really listen without getting focused on that. IMO it needs fixed, and then be careful with whatever FX you're putting on that vocal track that might be accentuating it. Maybe try something like a compressor filtered on the specific frequency where those things are (or a de-esser with enough knobs to zero in on it)? (Also, maybe revisit your mic choice here.) If I could just listen to the words without wondering what that was, I might have had a different opinion.