The guitar playing is par excellence. Performance is generally strong and sincere. A look into the self is great material to work with. Thank you for sharing.
I know you want to be fair to Ian and make certain that his collaborative work with you is showcased well for the other board members, and your eventual fans and purchaser's of your CD. And Ian's guitar playing is a joy, well written, and a well performed part. Is there some bass in here ?
You are the star, (your vocal), the character you sing about, real or illusion, the person we the listener see you creating and growing
in this song, is more important than either of your guitars, or what either of you may want from this performance. In order for us to fully enjoy what you do with the lyrics, we the listener must of course hear them in the most up front mix possible.
There is only one performance flaw I have an issue with and that is your glissando up a half step on the word 'door'. Your vocal is getting caught up in some sort of tension, and that little glissando becomes raspy, forced and out of tune. It creates a big contrast in the rest of the vocal. To pull this little bit off here, you need to relax and let that out gently, instead of pushing it out hard and clamping down on it, and you do this again on 'you', it's a bit better there.
At the very end of the song, you let out the word 'all' in a very relaxed and submissive fashion. If you do this on 'door' and 'you', it will be smashing. Let it go, submit, release that tension, let that anxiety out ... easy ... gentle ... master it.
Many hats to wear, many tasks.
Listen to Richard Monroe's mix of 'Woodsman's Lay'. His most recent post might still be on the first page. Your vocal types are similar. He is telling a story there and his vocal is mixed hot and on top and out front, and after they do some serious work on that song, he will be mixed even more so. It would be nice if Richard would find the time to do a review of your and my work seeing as how we are all on the board together at this time ;-)
I did five of his in a row, and he's sitting wondering when I'll get around to the other two ! LOL
We the listener will 'connect' ... to this character you sing about ... and these feelings, but you challenge our connection when the vocal is 'down in the mix'.
Your natural vocal, without any EQ at all is a dream to mix. And there is a reason for that,
it's dyanamite, and it sits perfectly in the middle tenor range. Don't put the dynamite in a bottle
Humiliate yourself to your vocal, (as a mixing engineer), at ALL COSTS . Ian will understand ... will you ? ;-)
Your vocal will sell the CD's , your lyrics will sell the CD's. People aren't going to buy your CD for your guitar playing, or pennywhistle playing, fiddle playing, or upright piano playing ... they are going to buy it for the story's and for your vocal. You have no big star names appearing as guests on your CD to push it ... it's all your vocal. The whole CD depends on a proper mix of your vocal. Your vocal should be brilliant and dynamic throughout every, single song.
This storybook or book of storysongs you have created will sell CD's.
The fan must never be challenged to either understand, or fully enjoy your vocal as the undisputed lead, it is the most powerful instrument in the songs, yet you know by now, the most difficult to mix properly for many different reasons. It is a reed buzzing encased in a mound of flesh and there is nothing in the world like mixing that sound, it is the ultimate challenge, and the better the vocal, the more crucial mixing the vocal becomes to making the song a Hit ... in this genre.
All you have to do ... is LOWER THE INSTRUMENTS, don't raise the vocal. There are some panning and EQ techniques you can use effectively on the guitars. But the most effective technique is to push the faders down on the guitars. I'd like to hear some backup vocals, and think in terms of the vowels - i - and - e - , these are good long sustained vowel-sound-backup-harmony vocals for the first person introspective work. Think keening.
And with this song, I hear you beginning your third CD. What you do here is a departure because you are strongly in first person.
You are observing within now, and seriously, I suggest yoga classes, and there are some sweet ladies in the yoga classes believe me ;-)
I look forward to the next songs you share with us.
I may still cover this one yet... whenever I get around to covering that other tune of yours that I'm gonna do. 
)
