Rock toms

[Guitargodgt]

Cut the muddy low end stuff out. Cut the boxy mids out. Cut the very top out. Slight boost where the stick hit comes though.

No need to do any boosting down at the bottom.

[AscendRecording]

I personally like my toms to have a nice round type of sound rather than a thin smack (if that makes any sense) I usually find my self cutting out the low end rumble, cut around 600Hz > LA2A>1176 >EQ boosting 6-8Khz>Gate
Of course, only use this as a "starting point" rather than a go to preset as different sets of toms should be EQ'd differently.
Here is an example of what I mean in this sound clip I mixed. (Drums solo'd)
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/10891235/%3D...xample%202.mp3

Here's an example of the same tom's in the mix. I apologize for the bad example since there is not a whole lot of tom hit's going on in this, but you can hear them near the end at 0:45 ish.
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/10891235/%3D...en%20Cover.mp3

Also, if you really want you toms to have a nice fat low end, try out MaxxBass, it's definitely worth the buy if you have the money.
Hope this helps!
-Jeff

[Mo Facta]

Then that would make the snare and kick out of phase with the oh's (if they were inphase before you flipped). So an alternate suggestion would be to try flipping the phase on each tom mic. Listen while the overheads are playing. Solo the oh's and a tom mic and try it. See which way has more bottom end on your toms. Then flip to mono and make sure nothing is cancelling out.

If the toms were in phase all along, then you're best bet is learning to eq in the sauce (not in solo). Sure, get your toms sounding halfway how you want them in solo if that makes you feel comfortable (such as reducing the unwanted flab, boxiness and mud),but then un-solo those suckers and tweak with eq until you get them heard a little better through the mix. If your toms seem to be at a reasonably even volume as the rest of the kit, but some strokes just aren't cutting through as much, a compressor (or limiter if you want them all the exact same volume and smashed) can help there.

Good luck!

Yup, the problem described in the OP is almost certainly a polarity issue. The points that pricked my ears were these:

1. They sound good and full on their own.
2. In the mix they lose impact.
3. When he turns them up it's a mess.

And Jimmy nailed it on the head. I almost always have to polarity flip the overheads. If there ever was a silver bullet in drum recording, this is it.

Cheers

[CMB Studios]

As always, it starts at the source. How are the toms tuned? Did you kill them with dampening? I find that toms that excessively boom and ring by themselves are just right for a rock mix. Tune the toms to sound big and open and hit them like a man. If they're close mic'd you can't help but get big sound out of them. Then in the mix you can compress and EQ as necessary to bring out certain characteristics. I treat my toms like small kick drums and get rid of low mid boxiness with EQ, then compress them to bring up low end harmonics and overtones. Keep it simple.

I'd listen to this guy :P