"Instant" Mastering...no ears necessary.

miroslav

Cosmic Cowboy
You knew it had to happen.
A computer algorithm analyzes and masters instantly...no one even hears the music.

All online for only $9.99

:facepalm:

LANDR Instant Mastering | TuneCore

It reminds me of the old Earl Schieb commercials...where they promised to paint any car, any color... for $19.95
 
Does it do a whole album and do you get a DDP 2.0 file or at least bin/cue? If no then it's not even mastering, it's just automated audio "finishing".
 
I had a project come in over the last week... No names -- But it's a relatively successful artist (with a cult-like international following and years of worldwide hardcore touring experience) on a legit indie label. Got a track and then a hold order -- "The label wants to use their guy so we're going to see how it works" -- Okie dokie. That happens.

Next, a series of e-mails from the mixing engineer and the artist saying that the label's guy didn't do such a hot job and to go ahead with the (pre-release promo) track.

In the e-mail was a link to what the label provided.

I don't think I have ever - EVER - heard such an absolutely horrific hack job on an otherwise decent sounding mix. I can only really say that, as I had the same source mix as the label. It was painful. It was harsh, boomy, strident, scooped, crushed, cold - everything the mix was not. I'm not even particularly sure what I would have done to make it sound that bad. Everything was skewed. The balance between the instruments was gone. The cohesiveness of the entire spectrum was shot. The stereo image was unnatural and distracting.

I have to assume a maul-the-band compressor at the very least -- I can't think of anything else that can do that sort of damage that easily. Ozone came to mind -- and no, I'm not bashing Ozone - I don't like it, I don't want it, but it's just a tool. That said, it's a tool that can destroy a mix with just a few clicks.

Long story short though -- I'd like to think that it was some sort of automated process that destroyed that mix. Because I have a hard time coming to terms with the thought that someone actually made it sound like that on purpose.
 
they'll never re-create mastering engineers with robots, I do i-mastering because I am soo hypster, mastering engineers are so last year
 
they'll never re-create mastering engineers with robots, I do i-mastering because I am soo hypster, mastering engineers are so last year

Meh. Books, news articles and songs are already being written by robots at a level of quality that nobody notices.
I heard we even put a guy on the moon with fifty year old technology or something.

It's just a matter of time, really.
 
Meh. Books, news articles and songs are already being written by robots at a level of quality that nobody notices.
I heard we even put a guy on the moon with fifty year old technology or something.

It's just a matter of time, really.

Yep. I for one welcome our new robot overlords.
 
I had a project come in over the last week... No names -- But it's a relatively successful artist (with a cult-like international following and years of worldwide hardcore touring experience) on a legit indie label. Got a track and then a hold order -- "The label wants to use their guy so we're going to see how it works" -- Okie dokie. That happens.

Next, a series of e-mails from the mixing engineer and the artist saying that the label's guy didn't do such a hot job and to go ahead with the (pre-release promo) track.

In the e-mail was a link to what the label provided.

I don't think I have ever - EVER - heard such an absolutely horrific hack job on an otherwise decent sounding mix. I can only really say that, as I had the same source mix as the label. It was painful. It was harsh, boomy, strident, scooped, crushed, cold - everything the mix was not. I'm not even particularly sure what I would have done to make it sound that bad. Everything was skewed. The balance between the instruments was gone. The cohesiveness of the entire spectrum was shot. The stereo image was unnatural and distracting.

I have to assume a maul-the-band compressor at the very least -- I can't think of anything else that can do that sort of damage that easily. Ozone came to mind -- and no, I'm not bashing Ozone - I don't like it, I don't want it, but it's just a tool. That said, it's a tool that can destroy a mix with just a few clicks.

Long story short though -- I'd like to think that it was some sort of automated process that destroyed that mix. Because I have a hard time coming to terms with the thought that someone actually made it sound like that on purpose.
Yes. They absolutely put the "turd" in "mastered". Thank goodness you were available.
 
I listened to it again for just a minute (which is more than I should have) today. I'm still a little stunned.

I have to wonder if the guy from the label was [you remember...]
 
I suppose if you have no mastering skills whatsoever this might be alright. I dropped one of my mixes in (.wav file) and it came out squashed and grainy sounding. Like a bad mp3 converter. ugh!
 
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