I used to think it was cheating, too, making polished songs. I still do in a way, so I keep my recordings pretty simple. I do this also b/c I like it simple!
I have been in a few bands, but relationships are brittle and things never last, so I struck out on my own. That had its cons (no one to cover up your mistakes!) and its pros (I could play what I wanted -- no having to compromise and play songs you loathe just because the bassist likes them!)
I am now in my 30s and, believe me, life is short. It sometimes seems like yesterday that I was in college, in a band, playing out 3 times a week. Don't wait around for the right bandmates to come along. Seek them out, but keep working on your music alone. You need to be independent and open-minded at the same time.
I no longer play out. Whether with others or alone, it got to the point where I hated the effort. Audiences varied from 5 to 50 people, but it got to me that so many wanted to hear Jimmy Buffett (Margaritaville -- YUK!!). It also sucked when the crowd tuned out and I became background noise. I totally understand, however, that that is just how it goes -- when I'm in the audience, I'm not 100% attentive either. Also, I understand that the crowd's apathy maybe meant that I needed to work harder to keep their attention!
After several years of recording on my own, I may be joining up with a few other old geezers from work just to jam. If we never play out, fine. But, at the very least, it would help me be a better guitarist and I'll have the chance to try out some of my originals. At first, the idea was a turn-off, but life is short and I'm starting to feel like a hermit, hunched over my recording devices until the wee hours of the night.
The whole playing out thing is SO much work -- learning songs, getting gigs, learning more songs, setting up, tearing down, driving, driving, driving -- it's a lot to do on your own, but it's certainly an experience that taught me so much about myself, my music, and my goals.
Good luck,
G