this is how important preamps are
I'm looking to pick up a pre-amp. I've done a lot of research, but would like to get some opinions. Clearly, from everything I've read, pre-amps are the most important thing by far. So I've decided to spend $50 on mics, room treatment, converters, and monitors, and put the remaining $10,000 into a pre-amp, because that'll get me the best results I'm sure. So I'm looking for a $10,000 pre-amp that would be optimal for my style of music, which is mostly kind of in the Emo-Polka genre, with a little bit of Tuvan Metal Throat Singing.
I've looked into many pre-amps but have heard bad things about all of them, such as being slightly harsh in the 2000 to 2002Hz range, creating nano-fluctuations on the leading edges of odd numbered soft transients, poor results due to one too few or too many windings on the input transformer, lack of pure oxygen free silver internal connections, and inferior knob polymers which affect electron flow in some orientations, all of which I think would be very bad for my music. And many pre-amps it would seem are both very mid-forward and very mid-scooped at the same time, which of course would make them flat overall and that would be totally unacceptable.
I would like a pre-amp that caresses the high frequencies, as though they were the fine hairs on the belly of a baby kitten, so that no matter what I record it will sound silky and smooth and never harsh. They must be extremely, incredibly, massively present, but unhyped. And the lows should be soft and billowy and enormous, like the breasts of my nanny when I was a child. All electical components must be hand made, new old stock, fashioned between the years of 1957 and 1958, during warm but not humid weather conditions, in either Germany or the southeastern US. I've been told that only with these specific components will the mid-frequency transients be accurate to sub-nano-second tolerances while remaining as smooth as butter.
It must be tube based, of course, that doesn't even need to be stated, though for some reason I just did. The tubes must be hand made, to the strictest tolerances, by men named Jergen or Heinz, and they must cost more than $1000 per tube, or I've been told there will be no chance of their providing the level of sound quality I require. I've spoken on the internet with many people who can tell the difference between two tubes of the same batch, without even turning the pre-amp on, and they all agree that very expensive tubes are absolutely critical. I've had constructed an electro-magnetically sealed, environmentally stable enclosure for the pre-amp, so that the tubes will be able to operate within one deci-degree of their optimal temperature at all times, completely free of external interference.
Since I have $10,000 in my pre-amp budget, please do not recommend anything less than $10,000, even if you think it sounds better than anything else, or suggest that I spend some of the budget on other things. This is the most important part of my studio, and I must spend exactly this much. I've had the advice of many people on the internet whose names and signatures assure me that they are experts in this area, and I will not be deflected from this well researched course.