What is your microphone measuring stick?

If I was going to answer the question your way, these are standards of the industry that engineers are likely to be familiar with:

Handheld Dynamic-Shure SM58
LD Condenser- Neumann U87
SD condenser-Shure SM81
Ribbon- AEA R84/Royer R-121
Kick-AKG D112
Tom-lots of stuff-nobody agrees- I like AKG C414B-ULS

But- if I am looking at a mic, this is what I really want to know:
How hot is the signal?
What kind of polar patterns does it produce?
If it's directional, how big and how abrupt is its proximity field?
Is its response flat, or is it attenuated or boosted in some frequency range, and if so, how much and at what frequencies- In other words, what is its frequency profile and range?
What size is the diaphragm, if it has one?
How detailed is it across the frequency spectrum? and does it produce subtle distortion/color like some tube mics in particular. Is it more clean, more colored, or in between?
What kind of SPL's can it handle?
How much self-noise does it produce?
How much handling noise does it produce (especially important with handheld mics)?
How rugged/delicate is it?
Does it have a track record of reliability?
How good is the customer service of the manufacturer?
Is it a studio standard by a respected manufacturer, or a lesser known model/manufacturer (critical if you end up selling it)?
What does it cost (duh)?
Is it versatile, or more specialized in its applications?
Does it make something I want to record sound good (especially *my* voice, *my* guitars, etc.)?

There are bad mics, good mics, better mics, and great mics. But- there are also right mics and wrong mics for any given application. You're better off with the right cheap mic than the wrong expensive mic. Almost any mic is right for something or someone, and almost any mic can be wrong for something or someone. Generally, in building my mic cabinet, I have looked for versatile mics that are proven studio standards by respected manufacturers with a track record of reliability. Occasionally, I choose a mic because it just makes something I record often sound good to my ears. In almost no case, do I ever compare a mic to another mic in general terms. Each is evaluated according to the criteria specified above. It works for me.
 
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