Sounds to me like a convolution of two music directions, or at least they are not going anywhere together, yet. It is not for me to create an opinion of what it is you are going for, but the drums in the first half say 'heavy', and the clean guitar says 'not heavy'. Bass guitar will help, but it needs to have some kind of groove with the drums, to make it work.
What is your perceived direction for this tune? The drums seems to reliant on the downbeat. The song does not seem to move forward with energy. It has potential, but it just seems like it isn't saying anything.
Please don't take this as a cut down. It is just my limited opinion. But i hear you making notes, playing scales, lots of drum riffs that could be cool.
My old school suggestion, would be to find a melody. Feel where you start from in the tune, then structure your progression to the end of the tune. Say something on the way. Surely it sounds cheezey to hear it in print, but that is what the tune is missing IMO. It needs to tell some kind of story. I just hear undirected notes at this point. Sorry. Just being honest.
You have great skills man. Finding a graceful way to place them, is what I believe, will make you exceed.
Just my opinion. Keep rockin Charles! Look forward to hearing more from you!
